I Wanted Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I wanted...
And at one time,
To be accepted.
With a feeling I connected,
As a respect that I would get.

I wanted...
And at one time,
To discover someone I would like AND love.
With that daily expressed between each other.
And having that never wished to forget.

I wanted...
And at one time,
To be able to afford a happiness with bought things.
Believing an ability to purchase this,
I would have social status and that would be 'everything'.

I wanted...
And at one time,
To leave behind my perceptions of success.
With a hope a peace of mind I'd find,
If I prayed faithfully everyday to have that witnessed.

I wanted to be freed from false beliefs I kept.

And at one time,
No one could convince me to have it known...
That today that peace of mind is here to condone.
With a doing not to have 'things' to impress.
As long as I feel I have received to achieve my own success.

I wanted...
And at one time,
What is now mine that has arrived...
My eyes would not have been opened wide to accept,
The forgiving of myself was all I needed to achieve my happiness.

'But...
Don't you think that is being selfish? '

Yes.
And I want as much of it as I can get.
Regardless who perceives me as being selfish,
Only I know what it took to achieve my success.