In Songs Poem by Maya Hanson

Sometimes I measure the time passing in songs.

An especially long moment with you
is the Beatles' Her Majesty.

A night I don't want to let go of
mutters the power of Dream On
A breath I don't want to set free
holds the haunting chords of Amber Run
and when everything seems shattered
I Set Fire to the Rain.

We're making soup out of beginnings
and catastrophes out of finish lines
and along the way
there's music behind the curtain.

A heartbeat is old pop songs
I can still sing as well as I can smile.

Free falling is
snippets of 500 Miles
sprinkled with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

My screams crack your walls,
I'm OneRepublic's Burning Bridges,
Lights lyrics on my stepping stones,
and when I carry a voice that doesn't trust you
my throat is etched
Sara Bareilles' Lie to Me.

I sprint and I can feel his heartbeat in my pounding heels,
Taylor Swift's Sparks Fly,
it's funny how now
runners and her voice
summon ghosts of his fingers to my face.

Pieces of Halsey and Sia and Florence & the Machine and Lost Frequencies,
invisible playlists,
you could call them my devotion
because I feel and feel and can't speak,
maybe you should
learn the music filed under your name
to know what's going on in my head.

Invisible playlists
spell out the names
of everyone I love,
each of them
messy and heartwrenching and incongruous
and yet somehow
they fit together,
just like you.

Half my life has sped by in colors
like the highway on these foggy mornings,
bass and chilling vocals echo
Sometimes I measure the time passing in songs.