Inner Depth Preparations Poem by Laquory Jones

I'm on sleep deprivation as my mind goes into its
Inner depth preparations don't mind me I'm just here
Screaming at the nation maybe it's just me going
Through revelations because no one's relating to
My struggles as the pain begins to double
What's with all the trouble as I continue to stumble
Through the tips of my ear I can hear people's
Mumbles as if they can't see my world as it crumbles
Too many times I've tumbled as the thunder rumbles

I can still feel the stinging effect as I reflect back
Sometimes I think that if I can foresee the crashing
Right before everything turns to ashes I can avoid
Everything negative that seems to happen
Throughout life Sometimes I ask why I've become
Like stains on my paper as I ink through my pens
Too many thoughts are now flooding in
Drowning much of my conscience
I begin to get hit with the light beams as each one
Shines upon me never knew that blaring lights
Can be daunting emotions continues to haunt me
Venomous words can be assaulting
As people use them to taunt me

Am I in my judgment or am I just speaking nonsense
Am I not or am I losing my senses as I deal with the
Tensions of not being the best that I can be maybe
It's just my inner self speaking to my outer self
Maybe I'm just in need of dire help
All I ever wanted was to be artistic with my poetry
Maybe through my poems you can get to know me
At least that's what I'm hoping I'm in need of
Your appreciation so to my family and friends this
Is your dedication for all the times that you've kept
Me up on the higher notes when life has me pinned
Against the dire ropes (Will he ever give up, Nopes?)

At night I'm listening to the wind that's when it first
Began with my drawings embedded within the sands
I must admit sometimes I live in fear of the tomorrows
As everything begins to bottle I'm keeping one hand
On the brake and one foot on the throttle
I guess tonight I'll live my days in sorrow
As I wallow with my head stuck in the gallows
As depression follows another break-up hitting me from
The waist-up just another story to add to the mess-ups
That I collect it's time for me to fess-up as I struggle to
Just keep my chest-up just to ease the pain that I speak of
Have I not hurt enough there once was a time that I
Considered Myself a diamond in the ruff but lately
All I've felt like is I'm on the downs still looking up
And I've fallen can't get up maybe I've reached my breaking
Point or am I even making a break in this poetry in all
Honesty I said wholeheartedly as the Govt puts
Sanctions on society thoughts are now coming in
Clutch with emotions that are too real to touch
Internal turmoil generated too much heat and uh

I begin to salivate as I navigate trying to find
Anything to validate these combustion of emotions
As they accommodate me inside through all my
Past mistakes It's becoming deflating
But I guess in the end what I'm saying
Is that with every feeling of pain
Euphoria is around the corner so as the
Negativity tries to submerge that just
Means I'm forever emerging into a better
Man just the way Life has always planned

7/13/2017