Love: The Sigh Unknown Poem by Subrat Pradhan

When I need most
I find you nowhere
So I look for you all the time
And again with the confusion
Of getting and not getting
I hang myself on the nest of baya bird
Swinging upside down.

Once you had told
You would come
To the lonely mango groove
On a sunny day
And so many lovers would have
Made a date with the beloveds
To come all alone
Leaving beside everything
And to be immortal
By touching the beloved a little.

When you had told
Everything was within my reach
The moon, the stars
And you as well.
I thought
You would come tomorrow
So
How far you were away from me?

When tomorrow dawned
I was different then
As if drowned with wine
Everything around me got widened
And my feet traversing miles
With leaps and bounds.

The sun was coming very lately
Than usual
Mother unable to finish her domestic work
At home
Won't I go away with cowherd
Without having my breakfast
But the cow had headed for the forest
Beckoning for me

I laughed heartily in the mango groove
With the mango buds
Talked with the Baula cow
Without any topic, unknown
What I could not tell my friend
I told her everything
My untold story, this life and before.

When the sun played
hide and seek with me
I waited for you
Time and again
Looking at the corner
Where stands the thick
Tamarind tree
Becoming taller and taller
to tease me more.

You did deceive me really?
How can I make myself understand.
Alone everywhere you have gone before
Why at all with me now
The restrictions, the husband
The father-in-law or the pending work
At home.

An unknown sigh brewing within
Perhaps before my this birth
I sighed by blowing my flute
The whereabouts, my agony
Of my past and present
got lost in the melody.

After so much time
The sun as if made haste
The whistling of the mind melted away
The cowherd surrounded me
And some rubbed themselves
Against me to pacify my sorrow.

I won't listen you anymore
I vowed as a defeated soldier
I cursed the flute
With my dust clad body
Whatsoever I had thought earnestly
To meet you in the verandah,
Outside.
But....