poet Ana Lia Zaldivar

Ana Lia Zaldivar

Masochistic Me

I could’ve let you go,
Escape from this prison you’ve put me on,
Let the pain finish for once and for all,
… but I didn’t, I just couldn’t.

Masochistic me, I’ve told myself many times,
Seems like if I’m looking for more pain,
Instead of running and going away.

Your presence disappears with time,
But when it is about to disappear at all,
I look for you, for it to grow again,
Even though I know it is killing me

Masochistic me when I look at your eyes,
Dark brown, honey river,
Makes me drown, takes my breath,
It causes me pain…. But I like it…

Masochistic me, that’s all I think of,
But this is the only way to know I’m alive,
To know if I have still feelings left,
That you didn’t take them all when you walked away.



*NOTE: Masochistic have two meanings. The one I am using in this poem is ''cause pain to onself''.... Just for those who misunderstood when I post it the first time.

Poem Submitted: Friday, January 30, 2009
Poem Edited: Monday, February 2, 2009

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Comments about Masochistic Me by Ana Lia Zaldivar

  • Noel Horlanda (4/30/2009 3:37:00 AM)

    I love it, however my heart bleeds, the way I understand you is...you always expound your feelings, your emotions concerning your lost love practically every time you write. How many times have you...you know what I mean? Warm regards,

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  • Angel Jimenez (2/5/2009 9:18:00 PM)

    Ana i like ur poems! ! ! ! they are very loaded with feelings...keep it up! ! !

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  • William Kruse (2/4/2009 1:36:00 AM)

    A sophisticated, mature and well-expressed thought for one of 15 years. Very good poem. (My own view is that a little Sadism never hurt, whereas a little Masochism never hurt enough. Well, perhaps not.)

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  • Chris Biddle (2/3/2009 1:09:00 PM)

    damn 15 n u writing hella good! nice poem very deep

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  • A Poet Who Loves To Sing Alves (2/1/2009 1:19:00 AM)

    Well My Dear,

    15 and in love and already willing to forget how special you must be...Please read my
    'What You Gonna Do Now Girl'...written for those willing to waller around in dispair over some guy that uses your feelings for a door mat....deep poem, so much emotion...snap out of it...now! ...and your question must be, what does she know?

    'Come out and let the sun shine on you...etc. etc. etc...That man and you are through! ..or should be. Learn to love yourself, more than you love him. That is my advice and I am sticking to it.

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  • PERSIAN NIGHTINGALEPERSIAN NIGHTINGALE (1/31/2009 12:49:00 AM)

    'Masochistic me, that’s all I think of,
    But this is the only way to know I’m alive'
    deep thought, thanks for sharing

    *Pain*
    Pain
    Pain to remember
    Pain to pray
    Pain to praise
    Love
    Pain is
    The grace of
    Above

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