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Rating: 4.7
rain in my head
seep out my eyes
drain from my heart,
now i do part

forgetting is dead
on flow thrives
muscled in by layers-
voiced with slayers

idled upon energy's thread
cuckoo'd from its tide
familied by a brand-
freezes hour's sand

sear'd till widespread
my marrow to fry
murdered by ghost
living now as their host
Ben Gieske 16 October 2008
I like the format and rhymes. You employed a lot of good imagery. The 1st,2nd, and 4th stanzas read very well, but the 3rd stanza does not match the rhythm of the other stanzas with too many syllables. I find it her to make sense of “familied by a brand- freezes hour's sand”. You have some good ideas.
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Midnight Clarity 16 October 2008
The almost syncopated rhythm of the lines perfectly captures a 'memory meltdown' where the head is filled with chatter. Some strong images, evocative but sad.
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Seema Chowdhury 14 October 2008
nice memories of your. i like the selection of your words. well done.
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Karima Astrid P 14 October 2008
i like how you put your emotions in your poetry...
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Ency Bearis 14 October 2008
an introspective write deeply expressed..written well to a great poem...excellent A 10... Ency Bearis
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rohit sapra 14 October 2008
I surely agree that is the effect of painful memories which haunt the existence of a human. Powerful emotions are displayed very nicely in this poem of yours.
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R T 14 October 2008
Hi Alone, As much as this poem is sad as much as it is so lovely and well written, I loved it much cause i felt each word by the perfect way of expressing. well done R.T
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