dou rai mi fa sou …
sou fa mi rai dou …
I hear the autumn buds
Jump out of my tile eaves
Slide down the roof
Touches on my eyelid
The ditty, subtle cold
Your message to Unnikrishnan is a very thorough critique of your poem. There's not much I can add, because first I experience in the moment by reading the poem and then in retrospect by reading your own commentary. Both poetic and prose accounts put me in this splendid autumnal setting, Time is suspended, emotions are stilled, even memory is quiet as it absorbs the scene. And what a lovely scene: standing under the shelter of the eaves and hearing the music of nature. By writing the actual notation of notes you make natural music and human music equal to each other, which is a wonderful union. This is a poem of the last day of August and it anticipates autumn days. It's a swwet and gentle nudge forward into autumn, the best of seasons.
Thank you Daniel for your exquisite comment as usual. Autumn is inspiration. Your comment is also inspirational to me. Much appreciated.
I really admire your power of wording, it always go straight to my heart, enchanted by the simplicity and refreshness of the scene! Really nice work, love it!
Thank you Anne for your nice comment. You also write beautifully. Let's keep on.
Cigeng, I invite you to read poem The Three Day Tree by Susan Williams, on Autumn. You will enjoy it.
Thank you for the recommendation of Susan Williams. I'd like to read her then.
Hi Cigeng, Lovely poem on the autumnal bliss: Falling raindrops Harmonious notes..... the ditty... touches my eyelid.. (sorry, I made my own diction; but this how I read it) . But I do not understand the following words: dou rai mi fa sou … sou fa mi rai dou … I believe, these words are not just sound images, but have some meaning in Chinese. Could you please tell us? A 10 is due to you. But I will give that, only after you tell us the truth...Hahaha!
That was quite informative. Thank you Cigeng. Pl continue to write and share.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.I would like to translate this poem
The nostalgic feelings captured in beautiful words- - - I hear the autumn buds jump out of my tile eaves slide down the roof Brave enough touches on my eye lid the ditty, subtle cold.
Beautiful comment Bharati. Much appreciated.