I used to etherise myself
every single day—by the clock,
with an obsessive circle
of euphoric musical narcotics:
living and re-living;
wine and rewind,
wine and rewind,
wine and rewind—
hundreds of times a song,
memories, and the wild emotions
of my heart in love!
I had become addicted to Music:
the more I was listening,
the more—the more I needed it
—to reach its effect! —
increasing the dose of volume, —
I felt my brain
smashed against the sound,
making me dizzy and delirious;
and when my heart could not contain
the gelatinous feelings and knees,
it petrified the emotions into a hard rock:
hardly feeling anything—it hated itself!
—my heart—a monolith with no lithium!
I could not yet use the spiritual scissors
to cut the guitar-chords
and the etheric chord,
and the communication
kept flowing freely—at the speed of light
sending musical narcotics
through its channel;
like a vein circulating blood,
supplying an embryonic love
unwilling to renounce life;
but it finally kept circulating
dedications for a torturous, slow death,
as the slow, murderous
march of madness—
dedications of death!
Until the sound of music
became interior voices—
screaming at me!
The guitar, —
squeaking, and scratching my nerves!
Singing in my mind loud words:
words, words, words—
vocables, vocables, vocables;
dancing till collapsing—collapsing in tears.
In a profound perturbation,
I closed my eyes,
and with the phosphenes in my mind,
I fell quietly—into a forgetful sleep.
I am delighted to read this poem. I quote, I have become addicted to Music: the more I was listening/the more, the more I need it/—to reach its effect! —..Beautiful!
I can definitely relate to this. Well captured experience of listening to the sound of music coming from outside. Have you ever heard any type of music that comes from within?
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
I know that feeling. When you turn around the sounds and you do not have the strength to break it. You said in one place: Marsh of madness. It's weird that nobody wrote such a song. Maybe somebody is?