Ode To Leonard Cohen Poem by Phar Cough

There’s money owin’
And my age it is showin’
My legs are a’bowin
Metabolism’s slowing
Piles are a growin’
But there’s no way of knowin’
From the façade
That I’m showin’
I’ll feather my nest
As I make you depressed
It’s a matter of taste
No time to waste
I’m past wild-oat sewin’
And money is owin’
It’s a downright crime
But now is the time
To get you all goin’
With my meaningful rhyme
From ol’ Lenny Cohen

I got this young chick
She’s sexy but thick
She ignores my bald spot
And thinks I’m real hot

There’s money owin’
And my age it is showin’
But there’s no time to waste
To wheel out ol’ Lenny Cohen

No voice, little talent and taste
But there’s no time to waste
There’s money I’m needin’
So my heart is still bleedin’
And my bullshit you’re needin’


Sometimes life can poo ya’
But along comes Hallelujah
And Jeff Buckley might have died
And it could be suicide
I’m sorry and all
But what a windfall.
So I’ll come back and do ya
And sing hallelujah

As I said young men can
Predecease ya’, kid
And your accountant he’ll fleece ya’
Well my accountant did
So when it turns to manure
Just sing hallelujah
And let ol’ Lennie do ya

So I’m still a goin’
It’s me, ol’ Lennie Cohen
Cos this girl is expensive
So it’s time to be pensive
When the money is owin’
Time to wheel out ol’ Lennie Cohen

With poetic gifts I’m cursed
I’ll dance with you till the love runs out
Or perhaps till the money runs out
Whichever comes first
And I’ll give you doggerel rhymes
So full of doubt
That you’ll be so impressed
I guarantee you’ll be depressed
And the times can’t be rougher
But I’ll go out and suffer
And without being pedantic
I’ll get all romantic and woo ya’
We’ll sing hallelujah
And it aint no great crime
To flog a maudlin old rhyme
And it fills up the coffers
And I’m still getting offers
To come back and screw ya’
And sing Hallelujah.