Postcard Pete Poem by David Harris

When Pete Moaner heard everything was going digital
it didn’t go down with him too well,
he decided to make a protest
and wonder which way was best.
The more he thought about it
and all the things he’d miss
he got angrier and angrier.
No more love letters with s.w.a.l.k. on the back
to hold onto forever never letting go,
the bills he didn’t mind
those he could do without.
Now for his protest it had to be strong,
something no one would forget.
He bought up all the saucy postcards he could get
and wrote on everyone and signed them P.M.
then sent them off to the power to be
and every computer company.
He sent them by the sack full
but none of them had a stamp.
If they were going to stop people
from writing sweet nothings to one another
the postage they could pay.
Eventually the law caught up with him
when he tried to deposit a truckload of cards
at the local post office.
The newspapers had a field day and dubbed him
Postcard Pete the protester.
The judge asked him when he went to court
how do you plead.
Guilty your honour
as I did it four our society.
Your honour would never get
those scented love letters
from your lady fair
if everything went digital.
You would have nothing
in future years to fondle and hold.
No paper to sniff the scent
of her erotic perfume,
no more mementoes
when you grow old,
that’s why I did it sir
to help people like you.
The judge nodded and called Pete to his bench.
Did you sign any postcard with your real name?
No your honour I couldn’t do that.
I signed them all from the P.M.
The judge looked up and in a stern voice said;
case dismissed through lack of evidence
unless someone wants to call the Prime Minister in.
Postcard Pete left the courtroom
his protest was done.
No more love letters through emails
and on that we’ll have to wait and see.