Marie J. Christopher
Prisoner Of Heart And Fruitful Solitude - Poem by Marie J. Christopher
Soul, why are withering, why are you crying? You sob?
Your goodness and charm have been touching many hearts
Your gracious poems on life and love, your comforting upliting answers have won many souls;
For that, you were grateful and rejoicing at times.
Now why are you sitting alone in the dark corner to inwardly cry?
Where is your constant cheerfulness, your joyful teary eyes; instead your spirit droops?
Why is your soul staring into the distant blank space?
Where is the greatest love for your beloved Lord and the hope, the joy, He profusedly showers
For your faithful service to serve, to give yourself in the poetic work?
Did God leave you too in your darkest moments
Or you have willingly given up your greatest treasure, your most cherished love, , all your love
For the bud grafted on your romantic heart to blossom
Some day into the most magnificient flowery blue meadow?
Where is your hope, why are you immersed in such a profound despair?
Where is your trust in your Lord God who readily inclines to console, to care?
For you have rendered all your most precious possessions, your own will and desires,
In order to depend on His Grace alone for all your needs.
Now it is the time of your desperation; why don't you seek out for his blissful deeds?
For your Lord is full of compassion, full of generous loving to you, His adopted son.
So then cry, cry to Him in order for Him to run in haste to hold you.
Why are you now prostrating to worship, crying without any teardrop left;
Emptied inside with no divine inspiration, no connection with the highest heavenly choir,
Only divine Absence and purest but darkest silence,
No love, just breathing, going through with daily motion.
I can see, radiant is your dolorous heart which is now living in a mystical state,
Called the total abandonement of all your power which is used to seek and receive,
The three basic nutrients for a soul poor in spirit,
which are faith, hope, and love;
And the most agonizing anguish has come from your willing abandonment of love.
The totally abandoned soul consciously lives in his abandoned desert,
Utterly but apparently alone.
(My current spiritual state, in which my soul is stripped of all its most endearing desire which is the warm loving constant presence of God. The only things keep me going is my belief that this spiritual state is apparent, meaning seeming but not true, for God is closest to me than ever, but He withdraws all edifying and comforting effects of His grace on my soul. He needs this abandonment to nurture the same three basic virtues in you.)
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