I can’t take these feelings anymore inside
So much I want to say yet I have to hide
Seems the ones I love have an answer to hate
And deny any chance for me to congregate
What the hell is it I am supposed to be today?
So frustrated and angry without much to say
Yet I always say the wrong things in a moment
The right words come way too late to augment
Can’t seem to reach you anymore and I’m alone
Walked so far to get away yet I’m stuck to the stone
That holds me near to this pain despite my cries
Of freedom, redemption before answers of whys
What the hell did I do to deserve this constant fear?
Is not a purpose on this Earth to which I’m near?
Is not something out there to which I belong to?
I cannot shed more tears than I have left so few
I look to the light but the fear of death holds me
Here and no where else to dwell like this to be free
Cannot seem to find the answer yet I am so close
Before fate deals me the cursed and damning dose
I wish I could start again but time propels me
Sometimes it’s written for all who never see
As I remain so hidden inside as someone untrue
Only opening up to hurt another so all so blue
Cannot escape this entrapment of fateful cruelty
I have tasted perfection and yet I starve for duality
A longing sense of longing that never will cease
As I am wondering from heart to heart for release
Any solution seems to hurt another I hold so dear
And so I reminisce on and on and so much fear
Dwells from within that I cannot reach and touch
In loneliness I dwell as I miss her now so much
But I don’t want to be this way ‘til the day I die
And go to a solemn grave with just the question why
Slowly rotting in the pit of a still and darkened Earth
Please someone deliver me again and find my rebirth
Love the title...the poem is at times very powerful...Bhuddists monks chant 'I choose to rejoice in the sorrowfulness of life.' Embrace the pain, end the confusion, keep searching, and definitely keep writing...thanks...Coach
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Very well said. You echo the thoughts and experiences of many I am sure. At least I can identify with a lot of what you say. Can there be true love without pain? Can we truly grow as individuals without suffering? Lately, as I read about many poets and others who have made known their experiences, I am amazed at how many have suffered more than I have in their early and later lives. Perhaps, the best solution is to write. As some other poets have claimed: Salvation comes through writing. So keep writing.