Oh, my evanescent love, pray that the time of our abrupt separation does not come;
Pray that we live long in togetherness and intimacy superlative of our moments, perfectly done.
Let our hearts become one, and scintillating be our bond,
And facilitate us proclaim its sealing through this euphoric song.
But since there is no estimation of what fate lays under our steps,
Should there be a time of our bifurcation, forget me not in the abyss.
Await me, for I shall pursue after the conjunction of our souls; and spectate how hatred frets—
And atop the highest pinnacle of the moon we shall sit, and in silence, we shall kiss.
Remember me, when you forget, that by you I always stood
And fancied you in the shadows, behind an expressionless hood.
Remember me, when doom arrives, that I was both your sails and wind
In the tempest that once inundated you in your life, because you sinned.
Forget not the times of our laughs and mirth, lest be the end of life.
After all, it was you for whom my blood throbs and gushes.
With our union, if the feared time doesn't barge, let it be the epitome to end strife;
And together we shall witness the way love flushes.
It has been a voyage through multitudinous vortexes, and ruination,
But it was our determination that debarred our love's labefaction;
So haste you love as well, and ecstasies shall come to you in argosies,
Lubricating us both to rejuvenate the validity—and even create—our ancient fantasies!
(cont.) 3 - synonyms: tasteless, kitschy; overambitious, pompous, artificial, flatulent, inflated, overblown, overripe, fustian, hyperventilated, mannered, high-flown, high-sounding, flowery, grandiose, big, grand, elaborate, even after deleting some of the synonyms, i agree that many of them do NOT apply to this poem. but some may: these perhaps: inflated, high-sounding, flowery, grandiose, big, grand, AND elaborate (cont.)
(cont.) 2 - as you will now see, " pretentious" also has many 'meanings', not all meaning the same thing, which i find to be a problem with using (certain) words. one can not always tell what the user really meant! ! " pretentious adjective attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed. " a pretentious literary device" (cont.)
1- in a previous comment i suggested " highfalutin" as a word to describe (in part) this poem. the author has asked me to elaborate on my usage of " highfalutin" . he most rightly should ask me to elaborate! ! ! i WAS a bit uncomfortable using it for the poem. one of the meanings of highfalutin is " pretentious" , as stated earlier. (cont.)
P.S. i'll have to return another day to leave more comments. only this i'll say for now: in " what fate lays under our steps" , i'd use " lies" , not " lays" , a common enough error! bri :)
MR BRI seems to be your pal he has taken all your pains to place you in the Right lanes at least thank him VS FLAMBOYANT POEM
Yup it's true love true love lasts forever.....there is strong message which seems be union of two souls with a single heart beat....10++ rated poem.. thumbs up!
(cont.) 3 - gushes/flushes is nice rhyming. i think you mean reddening (like a face, due to emotions) so it could be related to love, but if i weren't grasping for a rhyme, i think i'd use " flourishes" instead. last stanza is esp. containing words not very familiar (to me): really only " labefaction" and " argosies" . i hope s/he remembers " you" ! bri :) ok, to MyPoemList.
(cont.) 2 - also esp. enjoyed: " ..I was both your sails and wind" cute! what sinning did s/he do? ? ? [ No genders are identified in poem ] stanza 4, line 2: you mix tenses with " was" (past) and " throbs/gushes" (present) . not sure of use of " barge" here. (cont.)
1 - " facilitate us proclaim" - maybe " ..us to proclaim" ? i esp. like this: " atop the highest pinnacle of the moon we shall sit, and in silence, we shall kiss." ...but wear overcoats. i heard the moon can be VERY COLD. (cont.)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
(cont.) 4 - PROBABLY MY MAIN REASON FOR SAYING WHAT I JUST DID IS THAT MY VOCABULARY IS NOT AS 'fancy/elaborate/extensive' as the author's! ! so i am not so familiar with a number of his words. ha ha. if i had a wider vocabulary i'd not have thought to use " highfalutin" . ;) i was in a hurry, as i am now. but i plan to return later, another day. bri :)