Death bird sitting
on the head side
hatching the list
....physical warrior...
....able liar....
....intense broker...
asking the chart
not to find the
name...
Death player planning
the moves of the pieces
always get checked
....king...
....knight...
....queen...
altering the game
not to end up in
the tag...
Death watch* ticking
any minute to grow
the numbers in abundance
....one..
....two...
....three...
rewinding the time
to stop motivation
at a term
Death poet constructing
word by word
locating the meaning
....exit
....paradise...
....sleep....
seeing the message
could only please
the content...
(*Death watch is a title of a play written by Jean Genet.)
it's ok but I really want positive poems that speaks of a sure positive word.
i lived the poem & the fear of the death with this poem.10marks
Of course death like a bird sits up there watching the mortality at the will of its long arm. The wide range of reference is rich and the web of words worth appreciating. Nice poem except the undue horror imposed...
wondrous may be to see the our Role of Death but sure it would go thru all these steps as we conceived so far.. Good way of expression! Thank you for sharing!
great written poem in innovation.....subtopic or enumeration after stanzas.....great job! 10
good write....an innovative verses in suspense...nicely presented....10
Crit4 Role: Death Role: Death -=-do you mean the “ The Role of Death”? 'An audition for death' 'death enters: center stage' ' Death exits: stage left' -=- a very interesting form you have created for your poem. Once you start something you should continue it all the way through however. Like the dichotomies in L-4,5, and 6 later in L 13,14, and 15. And so on throughout the complete form. It is a grand form for the poem and the form really helps the content and the flow of the poem after you understand the presentation. This is well done. I like it. (the) Death bird (sits) on the head side -=-side of what? hatching (a) list ....physical warrior... ....able liar.... ....intense broker... asking the chart not to find the name... -=- this is all grand. Death player (plans) the moves of (his) pieces (he’s) always (getting) checked ....king checked... ....knight lost... ....queen forked... (he) (alters) the game not to end up in the tag... Death watch* (ticks) (each) minute (and) (grows) (X) numbers in abundance ....one more.. ....two thousand... ....three million... rewinding (X) time to stop motivation at (the end of the) term Death poet (constructs) word by word (the) (location) (in) meanings ....exit from…. ....paradise within... ....sleep lost.... (he sees) the message (can) only please the content... -=- (the medium is the message) McCluen. The dichotomy you set-up in the first set of three things needed to be repeated throughout the total form, so I added words, if the don’t fit replace them with something that does to fit the form you created. A couple of things here: (this) means replace or add. (X) this means cut. a poet friend RH Peat
Insight into a play of words into what we all will endure...death, original work and has different ways to think of poem. 'seeing the message'...Yes regards
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Mubeen you constantly suprise and delight me you are so imaginitive this is really superb 10