Smile, For I Am Finally Dead Poem by Susan Vannatta

Hello old friend, it’s been a while
since I last felt your relieving touch.
They tore us apart, to keep me together,
but it only caused me pain.
Now I’m back, and here you are
waiting just as patiently as ever
for me to embrace you with my sorrows,
spill them like rubies to your gentle
biting kiss. For you to taste their
mouthwatering taste of grief.
I smile for you, a real smile.
It has no trace of the lies it once held,
the lies it showed to them, hinting
maliciously from underneath my lips.
It is only joy. Crazed joy exploding
from inside of my sanity, ripping
and tearing the threads of my reason
with no guilt. You smile back,
gleaming with the pride of your triumph,
It reflects off your edges that I so crave.
I finally hold you again, and
you heat my skin at your touch. You
burn to hold me back, to touch me.
I press your teeth to my flesh,
giving in to your every wish, succumbing
to your addicting passion,
now pulsing through my veins.
Sweet surrender, how good it is
to be at your mercy once again,
to live for only your release.
Pain slices through every suppressed
memory, leaving me with only numb blood.
It’s so nice to feel you in me once more,
your cold skin and sharp smile.
Beauty in my eyes. I’ll never let them
split you from my body again.
You will remain a part of me,
every part of me, and they cannot have you.
This time, we will always be together.
My last memory is cut away at my wrist
from my already weak and fragile mind,
the last dropp of blood splashes
to the floor, ringing with the sound of
finality. Over. The noise reverberating
off of the walls in my head. I think
and a smile cracks across my frozen face,
disturbing the lovely death lingering over it,
waiting to flood through me. I pause,
and now I know, it’s impossible,
they can’t take you away now.
You will have to come with me,
to home in Hell, where I belong, with you.

Untouchable and all alone.
With my last thought, I give in.
Death whispers through my body,
stealing my soul with the slightest of ease,
for I do not fight. Not any more.