Out in the rain,
They invade my domain.
My flowers are under threat,
Whenever it's wet.
An army of snails,
Glide on slimy trails,
Brought out by the shower,
Looking for a flower,
To devour.
But they've a surprise tonight,
I'm up for a fight.
I start my assault,
With six kilos of salt,
As they emerge from a drain,
Countless are slain.
In a saucer of beer,
A few start to feel queer.
Many will soar,
Across to next-door.
I make shells go crunch,
Before they can munch,
Until the bottom of my shoe,
Is covered in goo.
Each night I wage war,
Yet still there's more.
I try to respond,
And dig a large pond,
To attract hungry toads.
I spread parasitic nematodes,
To eat the snails inside,
So they gradually died.
Around my flowers I put egg shell,
Thinking the edges would repel.
I dreamt of using cyanide,
As a molluscicide,
And eating them fried.
My favourite plot,
Was an upside-down pot,
Waiting until sunrise,
Those inside I'd pulverize.
I know it might seem absurd,
Finally, I thought like a bird,
The last I mashed to a pulp,
And swallowed in one gulp.
I have a warning to say,
“Snails keep away! ”
Is covered in goo. ..................... i laughed at this, but my snail cousins have made me swear to get even with the evil Englishman! don't be surprised when you go out to your car some night this week, to go to work, and you find that i've filled your swimming pool with beer and driven your convertible into it.......with the top down! ! like the rhyming, but my snail friends have your number NOW! they shall come from across the globe, including the two-foot-long African gray snails who have been known to eat a small child overnight, and they shall cover your home and release enough slime on it to bring photographers flocking from all of the European newspapers and television studios. your downfall will be recorded live, but you won't see it! ! ! how's that you brutal beast? bri :) p.s. i shouldn't tell you this, but....pssst.... i heard that putting copper foil around a pot will keep slugs/snails? away. something to do with electric charge? ?
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Beautifully composed with great humour I really enjoyed this very entertaining write!