That Aint Happenin'! Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I admit I do have skills and abilities.
But not without heartbreak,
And the aches that come...
To achieving them,
Was not for me an easy undertaking.

Or did they come to lay at my feet,
Those skills and abilities!
For a quick retrieval.
Reality didn't come to me,
Quite that easy.
Sweat and tears dripping...
Hard work with motivation,
And lots of sacrifice took place.
With little encouragement coming my way.

Hey,
What can I say.
The facts speak for themselves.

To have someone stand in my face,
With the making of demands...
As if a flattering done to my ego,
Will deliver to them quickly...
From me what they command,
Becomes a disappointment for the both of us.

Nothing in my mind,
Came as a breeze to easily find!
What they see is a dignity.
And a pride in what I do.
To be taken for granted,
Are attitudes I do not pursue.

And anyone who believes,
My ego is easy to please.
Become surprised to discover...
I have a depth that is attached to an identity!
And aint nothing about any of it,
Has been given or come to me easy.

With God as my 'Guide'...
I have worked day and night for this.
Many hours, months and years...
God and I sat,
As I rid my eyes...
From the buckets cried of tears.

And to give that experience up,
To help fill someone else's cup...
Has not been my reason,
To immediately do what others expect from me.
That aint happenin'.

However...
I will say this,
To know my activities have become recognized...
To validate in these times that exist,
Means more to me...
Than the show of someone's quickly expressed,
Disrespect.