I like to think of Jabez Dawes
Made jack-in-the-box by Santa Claus.
The story may have sounded fun
To Ogden Nash or anyone
More keen on humour than on truth,
To rue the fate of the adventurous youth.
For how can sentimental sham
Pink as bacon, round as ham,
And fat as an elephant of Hannibal's
[Unpalatable, besides, for cannibals]
Turn into a toy which charming isn't
A boy whose behaviour was not unpleasant?
In Baltimore the story goes
They laugh at Santa Claus's nose,
As at clownish antics in the sawdust
It is Jabez then who laughs the loudest.
And Santa's nose at a game of darts
Is used as a target by men of parts.
Luminous like the woeful Dong's
It's made the butt of ribald songs.
And, furthermore, they choke with glee
At new versions of Santa's nightly spree.
They say through the chimney he portly descended
And on Jabez's fireplace flaming up ended.
[Since Old Bacon is blubber and fat,
It's nothing to be wondered at.]
It's also said that he got stuck
In the chimney to his rotten luck.
Serious folk say he's St. Nicholas;
I'm sorry, folks, this doesn't tickle us.
It's horrid to deceive a tot
With what isn't and what is NOT.
And all that fiddle about 'stockings up'
Reduces parents to paupers, pup.
So if you wish to sob or cry
You may, but do so thankfully.
Jabes Dawes today he dines
On caviare and Spanish wines
[And, of course, a slice of venison]
First having said his grace or benison.
All good children of Baltimore
Are welcome to his table, though
Vested Interests in that Myth
Stay out lisping, 'Thantha ith.'
A good start with a nice poem, Tan Pratonix. You may like to read my poem, Love And Iust. Thank you.
I wish you'd submit some more poems, Tan. This is a delight to the ear. But are you telling me Santa doesn't exist? , I saw him last Xmas sprawled out under a lamp-post. Actually I think Todd got it right. This is serious humour and very well fashioned in a clever stanza form.
You must have deleted many of your poems Tan. To start afresh? Like most children, I thought Santa Claus was real and good, at first. But the truth had to dawn on me and I was not too disappointed. You are right-it is deception practised on naive children. I like the eight-line stanzas and eye-catching rhyming couplets too.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
This is delightfully humorous. Enjoyed this greatly. :)