Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Dawn

Rating: 4.5
As the wide cover of unevaluating darkness
studded with sparkling spots
which glitter and glimmer in unproportionate delays
begin to fold itself in gentle pace
the sweetly singing chirping birds
with brisk clapping feathers
wander and ponder to all parts in search of survival
to last another gruelling day of tedious struggles
the grimly faced white shadowy angel
shies herself away from the
bright, shiny, sunny appearance
of her much powerful spouse
reminding us to peel off the perils of the past
and face the fragrant fantasies of future
Vijay Sai
Scotty Dogg 26 December 2012
Terrific! Again, you paint the pictures, and we follow. Good work here.
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Tony Karas 12 December 2012
Extremely visionary... provoked hope and promise. Fine effort.
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Jahan Zeb 09 November 2012
reminding us to peel off the perils of the past and face the fragrant fantasies of future This is fantastic. The dawn is not just the end of a night it is the start of of a new day and that should be the attitude and spirit. You do well in your poems. Wonderful Write. Jahan
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Ancita Michael 09 November 2012
i love the way you have described the birds.. very good flow of thoughts. nice work.
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Zahra Shariat 09 November 2012
it's beautiful. specially the ending part
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Kevin Maroney 05 June 2012
This poem has much meaning beyond its simple title. It bring elements of darker things and other connections to our world and holds many metaphors. I much prefer this type of poem - thank you for the wonderful journey you've presented to me, your reader. Please read some of mine too. (People seem to especially like my Cloud poem, though it is one of my first and simplest. Please feel free to peruse my other works as well.)
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Vincent Kuo 01 June 2012
Wow, beautiful poem! It's astounding because I also just recently completed a poem with the same principles, it's called Break of Dawn. May I be honoured to invite you to read it, I'm sure you'll find it exceptionally interesting!
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Beautiful, inspiring poem. Poetic language, wonderfully interwoven write. Well done! ; D
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Da Pwetti Metardal 13 June 2010
i really like this poem it really inspired me i also skimmed through some of your other poems and found that they were fantastic and i dont know what you do but it makes you think your exactly in the pom and have been through everything. Although i thought these were amazzing their not my everyday poems that i like to read.....And also i couldnt find your ART OF LIFE poem you told me to visit: (but i love your poetry keep it up
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Jeswin V 10 June 2010
Sir, u write a different genre of poetry...........words used are beautifully beaded together..........brilliant flow of thoughts........... though..........u can take ur writing to a new level.......... just need to keep a few things in focus while presenting it for reading purposes..... But then again..........brilliant writing :)
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