Brian Patten

(7 February 1946 / Liverpool / England)

The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose - Poem by Brian Patten

When I got my finger stuck up my nose
I went to a doctor, who said,
"Nothing like this has happened before,
We will have to chop off your head."

"It's only my finger stuck up my nose,
It's only my finger!" I said.
"I see what it is," the doctor replied,
"But we'll still have to chop off your head."

He went to the cabinet and took out an axe.
I watched with considerable dread.
"But it's only my finger stuck up my nose.
It's only a finger!" I said.

"Perhaps we can yank it out with a hook
Tied to some surgical thread.
Maybe we can try that," he replied
"Rather than chop off your head."

"I'm never going to pick it again.
I've now learned my lesson," I said.
"I won't stick my finger up my nose -
I'll stick it in my ear instead."

Comments about The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose by Brian Patten

  • (5/22/2018 6:40:00 PM)

    It’s very funny and I really like this app (Report) Reply

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  • (10/15/2017 3:38:00 AM)

    Hi Brian, I hope you don't mind I was inspired to paint an image that came into my head from this poem I have given it the title Dilemma. It will exhibited in the Now Looking At It art exhibition at The Rathbone Gallery Birkenhead until Christmas 2017. The exhibition is a 50 year celebration of the poetry book The Mersey wishes (Report) Reply

  • (7/30/2017 9:42:00 AM)

    a brilliantly funny poem that made me LOL, at the things we do for fun? ...................wonderfully written BP. (Report) Reply

  • Kim Barney (2/2/2015 5:06:00 PM)

    Another funny poem, almost as good as the spelling one. (Report) Reply

  • (11/16/2005 3:35:00 PM)

    Very creative.., and quite funny too...!

    With Respect,
    (Report) Reply

  • (11/15/2005 6:33:00 AM)

    This poem is really funny! U shud really enjoy it! it ROXX! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, January 3, 2003

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