Eila Mahima Jaipaul
The Leaving - Poem by Eila Mahima Jaipaul
it would've been easier if you'd died
rather than know you're walking
... breathing into the mouths of others
instead of mine.
smiling that smile
which caught and ensnared
so many, you go.
and I begin to understand
that you will never smile
in secret for me again
and my bed shall never hold your shape
nor my lips taste you
or my body love you.
opening my eyes
to a hundred reminders
each with its own accusation of cowardice
and giving up too early
my chest constricts
filling with grief
and a blackness so profound
it becomes tangible entity
a being, in its own right
trapped within the confines of this body
forcing my soul from its place
in a low keening wail
which builds and builds
until a great howl is heard
and I break with the force of it.
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