The People In My Head - Poem by Claudia Krizay
Rain is falling although
I can see the sun creeping out and trying to chase the dark clouds away-
I would venture outward- the foliage on trees, the grass and
Black-eyed Susan’s are inviting- and
The view from my window is stunning-
The heat of the summer is at its high point, and
The outside scenery seems to be summoning me,
Calling me to come and join nature’s gifts to the world.
My tears today are copious and perhaps more so than raindrops- as
Living in fear has captured me and it is the world outside that I see as threatening.
There has always been a world inside of my mind to which I can escape-
When the cruelty and vengeance of veracity is keeping me prisoner-
I hear voices others do not hear and I converse with people who in reality do not exist. Sometimes we sing in harmony
Songs of love, peace and that ever so welcoming melody which
Sings of the magic of the gift of my dreams-
The rain may still be falling or the clouds could have disappeared,
However I have lost myself inside of the world of my fantasies-and
Have become blind to the world outside-
Inside my world I see roses, and daffodils blossoming everyplace I walk-
I see birds flying about and I see deer that do not fear me and look into my eyes-
Those eyes that are crying no more tears-
Because I have safely found my home, that is
My home which is far away from people who wish me harm, and
Where people would never hurt, lie to me or betray me-
These I have deemed the people inside of my mind.
I believe that nature shall always summon me to exit, as has been called,
The world of my delusions- if I could break through these walls that hold me prisoner,
From facing what is real and what could possibly harm me, and
Steal my fantasies and thoughts away, I would venture outward.
I would pick a black eyed Susan and tuck it behind my ear, greet the people
Who walk past me and before me, and abandon the fear in which
I have lived in for so many years.
If I had to walk that path in solitude I would, as I am a friend to myself-
And as long as there existed a pathway and a gateway to the place of my delusions
To which I could return when the rain- and my tears begin to fall
Perhaps I could find my safety- and in spite of how fearful I become I must believe
There shall be a day when I realize that flowers of many kinds are growing everywhere
That I walk- whether imagined or true to life- and no matter where I make my journey,
I shall no longer be afraid, as the reality of nature is indeed a miracle
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