Hanging By A Thread Poem by Claudia Krizay

Hanging by a thread, I had been, with no relief from fear-
I was drifting in a rowboat lost in the midst of an unfamiliar ocean,
In a state of mind going no place-
Searching for direction through a tunnel of madness,
In the middle of despair, I had to find a spirit close to god-
It all happened at the time when I had shut the world out and
Made a home for myself where I had created a world of my own-
There, in this magical place I would thrive with people I could trust
I heard their mellow voices speaking to me-
In my solitude I can still at times hear them now.
When that fear surrounded me I would pray to the deity of my imagination-
Composing hymns to which we danced to-Myself and the friends of my fantasies-
I recall locking the door to my inner space vowing that I would never depart, and
Allowing nobody else to enter-
No longer hanging by that thread of mistrust and disbelief,
I had found my home inside the world of my thoughts- I could see trees, clear skies and
A river, surrounded by none but beauty and fortune until
The day I was snatched away and that day I was taken away and was
Locked inside a different room, dark, dismal and unfamiliar.
So many years have passed and I have seen myself travel
Inside and outside of fantasy, and inside and outside of despair.
However, this morning I awakened, hanging by a thread once more-
Recalling the horrid memories of those days when my dreams were snatched away.
In this moment I hang tightly onto that thread of terror,
Knowing I must transform it to a rope that cannot break-
Sunlight shines through a window in a different place in time.
Life has been a hard road to follow where all I could do was to look for detours-
But now I am aware of a newly found gift-
That of knowing what is reality and what is not-
That river of fantasy which reflected the sun, and the people who lived there
I could retreat to-however-I strangely feel those memories vanishing in a windstorm- as
I am feeling the strength of what now is a rope- a rope of strength inside of me-
I can still find peace at times closing my eyes and visiting those dreams
When the wind occasionally blows veracity out of control,
However I know the wind shall subside because I have found salvation and hope, by
Holding onto that rope, my inner strength that
Always leads me back to the present-my newly found peace of mind