Thisclosetothat And Not Know Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I did not take with intent to undo with a purpose,
That which you accepted as a doing done understood.
I was accustomed to leaving my head in the clouds...
Going over my notes of kept preferences to inspect.

And I had not expected with thoughts to invest,
Of a giving the time in my mind to find comprehension...
That your giving to spend with me,
Yourself unselfishly was 'your' purpose with a preference.

Like no one else has done and with a gift given you gave,
With no surprising attachments to unwrap after the fact.
I wondered 'how' could I be thisclosetothat and not know...
A taking someone like you for granted would be suicidal.

It's not that I think that 'you' are dangerous.
It's the thought of discovery that you didn't 'need' me.
You chose and wanted me to be with.
And I believed I was the one to provide the light in your life.

'You do.'

Why didn't you tell me that?

'And put an end to my addiction?
An addiction you feed unknowingly?
Anyone wishing to keep things intact,
Does it with the assistance of discovery.'

I'm not understanding.

'That's fine.
And whether or not you find that time...
It will still be just fine.'