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Trapped Within

Rating: 5.0
I close my eyes and
the lids like screens reveal my dreams
It seems, time has aged all hopes of
any accomplishment the future holds
My disappointment unfolds, a dark reality
reflected back at me in low resolution
I am slightly angry with myself
for doing nothing about it, and
now I regret it. But can’t forget it
I strike the flint at the tinder
Wet from the tears, still looking for the fire
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COMMENTS
Beach Girl 04 September 2013
I get this poem. We all have dreams which haven't been accomplished yet and it often makes us angry at ourselves. In private moments we acknowledge our failures, but then we open our eyes and life goes on. I like the 'my dreams by the waste side', that was cool. Gave it a 10
1 0 Reply
R.j. Wynn 10 August 2013
I relate strongly and thanks.
1 0 Reply
Lucifera Santez 07 August 2013
it has feelings in it, and i don't think commas or capital letters matter that much. an intriguing write. loved it. please read some of mine. :)
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Bri Edwards 23 July 2013
i'll have to read this again to try digesting it better. ok. it seems a couple of commas are not where i would put commas.....but, , , , , , , , , , that's life. i notice you do not have capital letters at the beginning of each line, but, instead, you generally use the rule of capitalizing the first word in each sentence (though i don't remember seeing periods at the ends of most of your sentences) . i too, do not capitalize each line's first word. i think either way is ok as long as i can understand well, which is where punctuation can make the difference. i like the story being told, though i'm not sure if i'm understanding exactly what is real and what is not real(ity) in the poem. i wonder what sort of tinder and what sort of fire is being referred to. are you meaning you are failing to get moving/develop ambition (which you mention later) (light a fire under yourself) ? i too have maintained my good looks, but i have never felt ambitious. in the line: .....My dreams by the waste side, replaced by reality.........did you mean to write way side/wayside? or maybe waste side is appropriate for your story? .........wasted time, wasted talent? ? thanks for sharing.
1 0 Reply
Yasmin Khan 18 July 2013
A stream of thoughts flows inside, you are taken by it but soon comes back to reality...written in a nice flow
1 0 Reply
Geetha Jayakumar 18 July 2013
Well written...trapped within the dreams of reality and the reality of dream....enjoyed reading the poem.
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