Unseen Poem by Kewayne Wadley

For years I had been a victim of abuse & didn't know it.
It hit me today when I sat back and listened to a friend vent to me
About what was going on in their world.
To hear the frustration, the change of tone, how restricted their
Behavior has become.
It's so quick to deny or put something on the back burner when it's
Not you, nonetheless society. Social media.
The movies & shows that we take in on a daily basis.
The gender equalities we all face at some point or another.
But when it comes to men everything becomes one sided.
It's a lot of things that's being swept under the rug,
Especially when it comes to insecurities.
No one is exempt.
It's so quick to deny or put something on the back burner when it's
Not you, nonetheless society.
We sometimes go the extra mile to help the ones we love,
But ultimately, both lines are crossed. Blurring the lines
Of responsibility & ultimatums are given.
When that time approaches.
Leave.
Mistakes can and will happen.
But some people are great at throwing the rock & hiding their hand.
Laymen terms "Better at pretending."
It's now become expected.
From friends, family anywhere in-between,
One shoe isn't better than the other.
Yet we glorify it because it's glamorous.
True the world is messed up & theirs no telling what's going on
In the next persons head.
What they've been through. If they've healed properly or not.
This is where the trap begins.
A subtle manipulation that slips between the crack.
Until talking to a good friend today, I too realized
That I've been a victim of abuse.
As subtle and not so subtle.
My excuse was simply that's the way that they are.
My significant has just been through a lot.
By no means is that any reason to give leeway or leverage to stay with someone.
But that's how subtle it happens,
Expectation & reality.
You begin following and obeying rules just to see a non-existent smile
On your partner while deep down you're dying on the inside.
While this introspection comes from a deeper hurt, it goes unseen.
Sometimes coming out as a form of control & confused with the "normal" sensibility of what's perceived as as issue.
Abuse isn't cool in any form or fashion.
Manipulating your significant other into only doing things you want them to do,
Or guilt tripping them when you don't get the response you want or expect
From them isn't cool.
Yet we glorify it because it's become glamorous.
It doesn't take much to make someone feel special.
To put yourself in a position to understand where someone is coming from.
Not just when it's beneficial.
The longer I spoke to my friend, I realized how many times I too,
Have been called incompetent for not being able to do the simplest of things
while my significant offered nothing of substance or growth.
How many times I too, have been blamed simply because "I am a man."
Or it's happened to someone she knows if not herself.
Pain is a bitter dish, there is always a brighter side.
It's easier to admit that after the pain is gone but during.
Any & everything becomes a target,
Everyone is susceptible. Especially the longer you hold on to it.
You start to control everything around you to keep everything in check
In the hopes it doesn't happen again.
It's so quick to deny or put something on the back burner when it's
Not you.
If not handled properly it begins to show in different ways.
It becomes aggressive, soon malicious.
Cold & calculating.
You begin alienating everyone and everything around you
To the point the slightest movement puts you on edge,
Whether you mean to or not.
While this introspection comes from a deeper hurt, it goes unseen.
Sometimes for years, it becomes normal.
Expectation & reality.
We are all vulnerable because we grow up around it
With no one to fully explain what's going on.
That's why support systems are so special,
As subtle and not so subtle.
My excuse was simply that's the way that they are.
Just as my friend, I knew I wasn't being treated with the best intention.
In fact there was no bare minimum.
I fell in love with whom I saw her as in my head.
& told myself, if I wanted her in my life. This is what I'd have to accept.
Two totally different things.
If you're being forced or threatened to do anything just because you're
Being made to believe that it's normal.
If you're being put on the spot simply just because of her insecurities or she's bored.
Constantly checked on, or condemned because you can't get to your phone in time.
& you're handling your business.
Leave.
You are capable of great things & this I assure you isn't love,
I guarantee you, there are better things out there