Very Afraid Due To Poem by Julia Luber

And the stronger my secrets became, and the more sublimely and outrageously
their factor of miracles became, the more they competed with sadistic aggression
and destructive avengement and traumatic afflict.

While really not even knowing what they were 'competing' with in terms of power!
As if after destroying that secret connection and pact with God, I got fromvictory.
As if attacking God's love and power and grace without even consciously knowing

That that is what their barometers measure by. It was human folly and vanity making
a secret. It was not my choice.God coaxed me into it. Human avengement made it the secret and deep anguish. It was not supposed to be.

And I thought that that would be enough and that they would move on. But I found out
it was never enough for them. The greater the Hope and Opportunity, the stronger their
sadistic avengement and aggression on the bond. The more savage their direction.

The stronger the bond I formed with God, the more severe and intense the sabotage and sadistic mutilation of that bond: withoutknowing what it was. As if they are machines through time disturbing and breaking that bond with God.

As if it is all their gravitations and impulses and instincts know how to accomplish. They
do not know how to round out the secret victory and polish the possibility. They only know
how to compete to destroy so that no secret with God of another outshines their own egos.

And their own needs to be "the one" with power. They are far more savage than they could
ever conceive of. And it is terrifying that they have broken this bond with God that I had so
deeply in my heart. But this is success to them. Experiencing that they have destroyed mine.

They don't even know it. There are no explanations of it. But it is how they work by gravitation…..without even it being explained as 'fact.' They identify my victory with their
loss and this is very dangerous and they are very savage and I am very afraid due to.