Why Guineapigs Are The Best Pet (With The Exception Of Dogs, Of Course) Poem by D.N. Rebb

Guineapigs can live up to eight years
And rarely bite
Compared to other rodents, they don't smell
Like a dog, always happy to see you
And excitedly squeal (like a piglet)
They are pretty much reserved homebodies
Or introverts, as they have no need to run
Never pick them up by their tails though,
Or their eyes will pop out
(An old joke, guineapigs have no tails)
Just tell me you're not feeling less stress
As you're petting that cavy (their taxonomy name!) in your lap
They are so gentle and friendly
A group of GPs is a muddle,
How cute is that?
And they're called pups at birth
Born fully furred; start running around right away
Not naked nor blind; but little mini-mees
Guineapigs are pretty much the most easy-going pet in existence
(YES, even better than a cat; there I said it)
And they love spending time with you
(Unlike you-know-who)
So, what are you waiting for?
Go get one already
(Cost: only one English guinea coin each)
Spoiler Alert - and don't eat them!