Yes Poem by Julia Luber

Let me not be sure and for it not to matter.

Sometimes when I am a hundred percent certain; there is nothing
I can do about it. Because it is not my job nor profession to do such.

And yet it has vacuumed up a part of me. And I bet some part of me
thinks about it all the time. Or at least far too often. And it is so repressed.

And I tell people a lot about me, sometimes; sometimes it takes some time.

But that I will never tell anybody. Because I did not know what to do.
Because I could not believe it. Believe me it was bad. So bad I am unable
to speak regarding. I am unable to say. I am unable to tell.

I don't know what could be done about it.
It was so long ago by now. And what I am trapped by is something
I've put front and center by choice possibly…..to avoid something
I know I will not tell anybody about.

Why should I?
The estranged suffering would only be worse.
For somebody to know that I am struggling with that….?
It would only make it harder on me.
And why do that? I won't do that.

And I have no idea in what ways you would think it has
changed my personality now. So much for the worse……yes?