(for Annelize)
I think you are lovely, extremely hot,
but do not want to talk about the fire
that you truly have got, as this is not:
where face to face I express for you desire
There is something innocent in your face,
a simple glance, how you hold your head, the ways,
a quality of character and great grace
that does your own inner beauty portrays.
Yet a touch, a word sets my body alight.
Your magic impact, your own fragrance and stance,
conjure dreams of you in each day and night,
as if spellbound these words do me entrance.
but now, this is not the right time and place.
Nothing can memories of you from me erase.
© Gert Strydom
[2] Line 8 does not make sense in English. The last word should be 'portray', but then you would not have a true rhyme with line 6.
[final] 'Spellbound' in line 12 is another trochee. There are more, but I have no more time. Keep writing. You are better than many on this website.
[6] In the last line, the first word, 'nothing'. should be an iamb, but it is a trochee. The first syllable is stressed, and the second syllable is unstressed. This is not the only example in the poem where this happens.
[5] An iamb is a stressed syllable followed by an unstressed syllable. that needs to be the pattern throughout the poem. The first syllable of every line needs to be unstressed, and the next syllable stressed, etc.
[4] Although your syllable count is for the most part correct, much of the poem is not iambic.
[3] You DO, however, have the correct rhyme pattern for the English sonnet. Congratulations.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
[1] This is NOT a true English sonnet, as English sonnets are written in iambic pentameter, with ten syllables per line. Line 4 has an extra syllable.