You See Poem by Heart of Ice Die Die Die

Wide eyed
and staring everywhere.
She's numb.
She can't feel anything.
Yet she knows
just how simple it is
to be able to feel again.
One little line
and she knows
she'll be welcomed
like a war hero.
Open arms
and open hearts
she knows she will recieve.
Her knife always takes her back.
The knife
was always there.
Through every tear
and every heartbreak.
The panic impossible to miss
in her wide blue eyes.
She's scared.
But she can't really feel it.
She can feel
the sweat on her brow
but she's shivering
and all wrapped up.
Trying to tune out
the seductive song
of her calling blade.
The urge so strong
the reason so pure.
The need to feel again
so overwhelming.
The tears she wishes to cry
holed up deep.
Pain is better
than this emptiness she thinks.
But the young ones also cry her name,
they need her too you see.
They still need arms around them
when their mother's aren't there.
They want a shoulder to lie on
while they drink their bottles.
They need a sister
to help with their homework
and remind them to get off the games.
They need a sister
to get them up in the morning
and find their socks
when their eyes are too blurred to see.
And you see
their song
is loud and clear
to her accustomed ears.
She moves with the rythm
she grew up to.
She can feel again,
she can feel their small arms
and their persistent hands.
She can feel the love
coming from their young simplicity.
They need her you see.
But she's no use
if scars are covering her
and she's too sore to move.
And her eyes too puffy
from hot tears to see.
They need me you see.
I must go.

Jan.-27-10