I'M Telling You This Now Poem by Heart of Ice Die Die Die

I'm tired
and I'm hurt.
I can feel the tear in my heart
spreading farther
and farther.
The depression
is deep inside my veins.
So deep that I don't need a reason to be sad anymore,
I just am.
My charade is slipping, falling
people are starting to see through
finally.
They're realizing I'm not as happy
as they always thought I was.
I've stopped caring
as much as I used to.
I want to curl up in a ball
in my own secluded section of depression,
of hell
and stay there forever.
People are seeing
that the smile
I used to plaster on my face
every morning
has worn thin
and almost disappeared.
People are starting to notice
the red marks
peeking out from the shoulder of my sleeve.
And...
I just don't care.
Yes,
I hear their whispers.
Yes,
their whispers hurt.
No,
I'm not going to do anything about it.
No,
I'm not goind to give them the satisfaction
of knowing they hurt me.
And I myself
have realized
I'm not as strong as I would like to be.
My heartbeat faint
my pencil strokes light,
I'm writing this to tell you,
I'm not worth waiting for.
Nobody could be worse than I am right now.
I'm cold with depression
and who wants that in their life?
I'm sorry that I can't leave your lives completely
but, I'll try to make myself
small and unnoticeable.
That's my promise to you,
I know it's small.
But maybe,
just maybe
it'll make up for it a little bit.