Your Essential Quintessential Resentful Misguided Guide To Love - Poem by Hercolena Oliver
Your essential residential guide to LOVE
states new love is not unlike self love:
Helping him not to get too beat up by beating his eggs
means smiling even if he hasn't done so for a while with pegs.
Holding onto your duvet come what May or Jany
means encouraging him to have one drink too many.
Trying not to laugh, but doing so anyway, not at him, but with him
is akin to convincing him to make the toast at whim.
Demanding a print out of the phone bill to see how many calls YOU made
reasults in his saying no that does not only appear in rhino thus pursuade.
Letting him choose the destination, then going elsewhere meant
is as good as knowing when to say nothing though you could comment.
Tolerating exhilerating perfunctionary measures implies pretending his sexy doll
even if the only roll you'd have in the hay with him would be a sesame seed roll.
Buying a bicycle and then not bothering to ride it so he can use it for the chores
is better than saying he's a lazy bum in such a manner that he thanks you with encores.
Assuring him baldness just makes his head more prominent in a crowd
is equivalent to taking pleasure in everything he doesn't do.
Helping him with problems even if he objects in dismay
personifies agreeing to places to go out to each on a different day.
Trying to get him to make more female friends on facebook before dumping him unfair
supersedes going on adventures together and then leaving him there.
Treating verbal diarrhoea as symptomatic of congestion and indigestion
encourages more morbid hobbies against all odds of objection.
Supporting his purported attempts at trial seperation
is a way of letting him cheat and pretending no to notice observation.
Cooking a surprise dinner for him and then eating it instead
precedes going for a jog around the block together and then kicking it under the bed.
Remaining calm when he imagines a strange realm
beats having the occasional differences and qualm.
Not commenting on his bad habits envisions
dropping your guard rather than your inhibitions.
Telling him you understand how much he loves his online buddies
likens telling him you'll miss him even if you're not fuddy duddies.
Letting him enjoy doing stuff in his own way on his own
respects his privacy in retrospect condone.
Aspiring to his level of perfection by appearing less larger than life
invitis conflict as a con striving towards diminished strife.
Calling the doctor when he as much as sneezes
compares to saying the meal's hot even if the sauce freezes.
Scratch his back if he scratches yours making him go on all four
then take back your lamentation about being taken aback forevermore.
Accept that boys'll be toys and suggest some toys
while you let him have the last cookie that annoys.
Look away when he gets knotted in the spaghetti pate
and remain calm when he's late visiting his mate.
Reminding hit to stretch his legs instead of his budget throw
resembles telling him he's the biggest you've ever seen (since 5 minutes ago) .
Surprising him with buy now pay later bills
saves him the discomfort of not making his own breakfast with the frills.
Assuring him that you understand his reeling feelings without further ado
lets him recapture rapture accepting that he'll be happier without you.
Telling him how much you'll miss him at the end
could include sking his advice on your new boyfriend.
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