Calyn Hartley

Rookie (05-11-93 / Hell.)

Your Hearts Despair. - Poem by Calyn Hartley

I'm gonna slit my wrists. Right after I black my eyes. I loved all these little trysts. Now they make me want to die. I try so hard everyday. To try and make it better in some way. But no matter how hard I try. It is him I can never satisfy.

I cannot forget the scars of yesterday. They are what have made me this way. So is it the scars of tomorrow, bringing about my sweet and endless sorrow. That has driven me to this dismal harrow.

I tried so hard everyday to try and make him happy some way. But it didn't matter how hard I tried, he was never ever satisfied by being with me, he loved another. I was soon to see. I stumbled across a photograph, it broke me in two; I wish I could've laughed. But when I asked about it, he told me how he really felt.

Now I feel like ****, and the final blow has just been delt. My mind begins to race at an incredible pace. A shell of ice surrounds my broken heart as it pounds harder in my chest.

After all this pain, I don't know whats left, inside something lies, to him I have one last gift to give. Freedom to go to the one he loves. No longer shall I be a problem to this beautiful dove. I love him, so I shall set him free. I know if it is love in his heart, he will come back to me.

I hope and pray for him to have a happy life, even though I may not be a part of it. I am a source of stress and strife, but I know I love him with every bit of me. Inside this endless sea of my self destructive sorrow on the horizon, of another tomorrow.

With my heart shattered into thousands of pieces. And seeing the fate I deserve to meet. A bullet in the chamber releases...I lay dead in the street...

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Poem Edited: Tuesday, April 8, 2008

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