Steve Turner

Steve Turner Poems


We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,

If Jesus was born today
it would be in a downtown motel
marked by a helicopter's flashing bulb.
A traffic warden, working late,

Christmas is really
for the children.
Especially for children
who like animals, stables,

I woke in a place that was dark
The air was spicy and still
I was bandaged from head to foot
The morning that death was killed.

What happens in heaven?
Will I sit on a cloud?
Is walking or talking
Or jumping allowed?

Tell me:
What came first
Easter or the egg?

Short poems
are fun.
You can see at a glance
whether you

There are people after Jesus.
They have seen the signs.
Quick, let's hide Him.
Let's think; carpenter,

You were one with the Father.
Then the Father turned his back on you.
You felt forsaken,
hanging there between heaven's thunder

The Lord God says:
'Share your bread
with the hungry,
bring the homeless poor

Take the wise men to the Emperor's palace.
Wash their hands in water.
Get them to say something about truth.
Does anyone know any good Jewish jokes?

Which one was it
that held the nails
and then hammered them
into place?

I went to see where Jesus
once touched the earth
but the Catholics
had got there before me

They threw down their nets
and they followed Him.
There was no time to
calculate profit or loss.

You were hungry
and I was sorry.
You were thirsty
and I blamed the world.

The Best Poem Of Steve Turner


We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before during
and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy's OK
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything's getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated.
You can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there's something in horoscopes,
UFO's and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha
Mohammed and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher although we think
his good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same,
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation sin heaven hell God and salvation.

We believe that after death comes The Nothing
because when you ask the dead what happens
they say Nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it's compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What's selected is average.
What's average is normal.
What's normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between
warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It's only his behaviour that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth
that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust. History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds.

Steve Turner Comments

p.a. noushad 14 June 2008

your poems are simple in appearence but very meaningful.

36 21 Reply
Elizabeth Kosakowska 05 March 2008

Hello, I am a part of a crew working on Marvin Gaye documentary for PBS in U.S. Since Steve Turner wrote a book about Gaye, we would love to contact him. Any ideas how I can get in touch with him? I would be greateful for any hints.

19 22 Reply
Bob Oldfield 10 May 2007

Hi Steve From a long-time devotee of your work from those old Greenbelt days, through to your outstanding journalistic work and particularly the wonderful 'Imagine', I just want to say thank you and long may it continue!

19 19 Reply
Your name 02 November 2020

Where is the poem who made this mess by Steve Turner

0 0 Reply
Michael Ponsford 02 November 2020

This poem is a plagiarism. It was originally written by Colin Duriez of the United Kingdom and was published in the 1970s in Third Way magazine. I have had this poem on file for over 40 years, translated it into French and German and often used it in talks on Postmodernism.

1 2 Reply
Joan Steinfeld 18 September 2021

This poem is pure Steve Turner. Please check your facts and apologize.

0 1
Joan Steinfeld 18 September 2021

Colin Duriez is not a poet. He may have used this poem in a compilation.

1 1
jih9rh 23 July 2019

why isnt the poem vampire not there

1 3 Reply
susantha 23 July 2019

i want to know about vampire poem but it isnt there

2 2 Reply
Precious 13 May 2019

im looking for the poem called The Examination by Steve turner

3 4 Reply

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