008. Egyptian Morning Poem by Jaden Knight

008. Egyptian Morning

Rating: 4.6

As many men sweat and groan
with heavy stones on ropes to pull
the pyramid grows and grows
like a small child growing up

The man in charge watches on
whip in his clenched fist
his dark eyes look over the work
his ears alert for rebellion

The pharaoh sits in his palace
unaware of the troubles of his slaves
drinking fine palm wine
from a large golden chalice

The sphinx lies on its plinth
like the king of beasts taking a rest
demanding respect from all
its large yellow form
casting spooky shadows on the sand
as the sun rises up over the horizon

Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: history
Number 8 in my collection written 12/11/1999 at the Weald School, Billingshurst.
Bri Edwards 30 March 2014

i like it (quite a bit) . i wonder what prompted you to write this; i mean about this subject. hmmm? it didn't even have to have rhymes or humor to be enjoyable! well-written! thanks for sharing. bri ;) i like that you wrote in the 'present tense'. the last stanza 'might' be my favorite.

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Gnossienne 12 April 2014

Who can resist a title like Egyptian Morning? I admire the way you immersed yourself in this subject bringing to life so vividly the harsh reality in such a colourful way.

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Mary Rowena 28 April 2014

Nice! Lovely imagery and a great topic. Also nice you make it sound like these times aren't a thing of the past :)

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Sana Ghostana 03 May 2014

I must say your imagery is very nice. I LOVE imagery, and you're very good about putting lots of it in your poems. Keep writing!

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S.zaynab Kamoonpuri 29 March 2015

Ahan wow what an interesting poem described ribed well on the pyramids, one of the spectacular wonders of the world. U wrote it with a skillfully poetic pen and captured the scenes well. U must have visited Egypt a very historical place to be in ah. Kudos and great to read u again.

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Alesia Leach 28 September 2014

Very descriptive. Can picture it very clearly. Thank you

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Darlene Walsh 25 September 2014

A very descriptive poem. I love history and poems that poems that help bring history to life. A similar poem could be written about many points in history, but I believe the pharaoh is rarely as ignorant of the pain he causes. Darla :)

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Gergana Teofilova 13 May 2014

This is beautiful. I love the way you make me picture everything in my mind although I don't know what all those things look like in reality, I mean I haven't seen them myself. Great job! Keep up the good work!

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Daniel Brick 05 May 2014

I like the way you approach the theme of injustice indirectly rather than preaching in your poem. The image of the overseer is a sharp character portrait that shows us how helpless the slaves truly are; his malevolent stare will see even the tiniest glimmer of rebellion. And so the pharaoh can sit back, and bask in the EGYPTIAN MORNING, without a moral thought occupying his brain. This picture reeks with moral degradation without any special pleading in the language. That restraint makes this subtle poem all the more effective as a protest poem!

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