Michael Shepherd

Rookie (8.4.1929 / Marton, Lancashire)

0323 God Removes In Mysteriousways - Poem by Michael Shepherd

Knock at door.

Is this 34c Warren Hastings Court?

(Shout from upstairs)
Tell him we don’t want no doorsteppers today, Ali.

I don’t think you understand, Sir. My services are
part of the removal package.

Well bless me. I didn’t see that in the small print.

Good, just kneel here on this bubble-wrap, my son.
Would you like me to pray for peace in your home, Sir?

Perhaps later when the baby stops screaming?

How about blessing your bed for a fruitful sex life?

We’ve got six kids, thanks, as you can hear.

The toilet then, for a healthy life?

It’s pretty busy, the kids are rather upset at moving.

The kitchen then?

Aliya doesn’t really like men in the kitchen.. God,
is that the time already? We’re not ready for the van..

Remember, God’s peace is beyond time, my son.
That’s why I’m here. Perhaps it would be better
if I visited you in your new home? May I take the address,
or perhaps ride with you in the van?

It’s 10 Allahabad Villas, Southall.. but I think it’s better not –
But thanks for coming. It’s the first time we’ve met anyone from your religion, Inshallah…it could be a good omen for peace..

**! ! ? ? ?

We’re Moslems despite the English surname which got us in…didn't they tell you?

Oh I’m so sorry sir, it must be a computer error…

Oh no harm done, I guess. Allah be with you..

And with you, my son… first time for me, too..


Comments about 0323 God Removes In Mysteriousways by Michael Shepherd

  • (5/14/2006 12:48:00 PM)


    Brilliant. As ever. Oh... I have to enter 20 characters but am not going to fawn any more! (Report) Reply

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  • (5/8/2006 1:07:00 PM)


    I'm not sure that I should be giggling at this, Mikey, but I jolly well am! ! ! And now that I've read it, the title's even more hilarious to me than it was at the beginning! ! !
    Love,
    Gina.
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Monday, May 8, 2006

Poem Edited: Thursday, July 22, 2010


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