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Friday, August 19, 2005

.24) Forever

Rating: 4.4
Sweet summers we stayed outdoors
till we could no longer tell
the trees from the dark between them
and a brigade of fireflies had failed
in its quest to prolong the day.

We had a name for daylight’s stopping
time in a slow embrace of farewell,
a kind reprieve to our outdoor games
till the moment night’s blanket covered
the last of earth’s cradle, and the blanket
came alive with singing: that name was forever.
We never spoke the name, but we knew—
Our minds were filled with forever.

Forever was also how long my friend and I
had known each other—we stood
by the trunk of the big tree in his front yard
trying to remember when we’d met,
struggling to give a name to a stretch
of the rolling river of Time, but such thoughts
flooded the beds of our minds.
All origins lay dim in memory’s forest:
“two years ago”, we murmured, but that
was just another name for forever.

Ah, that child’s “forever” turned out to be
a comet speeding through the vaster
firmament of our allotted days.
Max Reif
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COMMENTS
Linda Ori 01 March 2006
Max - remember when we would go out to play and never come in until my dad would whistle and wherever we were in the neighborhood, we could hear him and knew we'd better get home. Summer vacation seemed to go on forever, and now it is here and gone in a blink. My mother always said, 'the older you get, the faster time passes' and I believe she was right! Excellent read............. Linda
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Cj Heck 18 October 2005
Hello Max, I enjoyed this poem - you have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I look forward to reading more from you. Warmest regards, CJ
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Ivy Christou 29 August 2005
I really liked this poem Max.. Sweet and enadearing memories of childhood that last forever.. well done! HBH
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Adryan Barnathan 27 August 2005
Max...this is lovely...the moments that stick with us seem to find their way back inside us! May our wonderous childhood stand clear...forever....I enjoyed the nostalic musings in this.
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Chuck Audette 19 August 2005
Very sweet,10+. I didn't see 'dispatched' anywhere, so I guess this poem has already been fixed. Looks like a good change, I definitely liked dispatched up poem.. -chuck
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Michael Philips 19 August 2005
Yes, this evokes nostalgic memories and is extremely well-crafted. I particularly like the first stanza. The second one is strong too. The only tiny thing that hit me kind of funny was the fireflies being dispatched. Is that really the word you want to use? Dispatched? By whom?
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Uriah Hamilton 19 August 2005
I dig the whole poem, but especially the first and final stanzas, and the poem really does capture the innocence of childhood that does feel like forever.
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Raynette Eitel 19 August 2005
This is a beautiful image of a time in childhood with a pretentious name, 'Forever.' My only suggestion would be to bring up the word 'time' in the second line second stanza to finish the phrase in the first line. I think it would flow when read aloud. Thanks for this beautiful piece. Raynette
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Mahnaz Zardoust-Ahari 19 August 2005
Made me think of when I was I child and we would be outside in the fall as tthe sun was going down.....good write.
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