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A Sheep Gave Her Heart To A Wolf

Rating: 5.0
She was born to Adam and Eve
Longer years she is to live.
God made her heart of a humble sheep
Gave her body while asleep.
Body of eve given to her
With sheep's heart it is danger.
As she grew, her soul and mind
Was happy as a dressed bride.
Grown up with heart free
For her, life was soft N easy.
She could never assume life
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COMMENTS
Very clever and too often true, I'm glad I could read this.
1 0 Reply
Julia Klimenova 09 May 2006
A sad story of the first heartbreak. I hope the sheep won't turn into a wolf to avenge herself. A nice write. Welcome to PH! Warmly, Julia
1 0 Reply
Uriah Hamilton 08 May 2006
Your gentle story is very precious, a fragile girl who got hurt, I hope she finds a better man, I hope she finds herself. Keep writing!
1 1 Reply
Sylvia Spencer 08 May 2006
Lidia If this is your first poem to the site then I look forward to reading the rest. I liked the way you handled the pen I found it a good write Cheers Sylvie
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Esther Leclerc 08 May 2006
My friend Scarlett asked me to read your poem... Love the title; such an original idea... You are new so I want to encourage you (having been new not long ago) to carry on writing and thinking your poems through, not just feeling them (if that makes sense) . This needs some editing, in my opinion, for better flow and sense. Again, the idea is very special! Welcome to Poem Hunter; come back with more soon!
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A. B. 08 May 2006
A well written and beautifully crafted sad poem. You really did tell it well. I hope to see more of your works. You are great. Peace.
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Scarlett Treat 08 May 2006
For a first go at writing, Lidia, this is well done. You tell a story that is as old as time, Eve with her first Adam, how she loved him, opened her heart to him, thought he was so special, and then to find out that he was human after all....I jjust know that you will keep writing and getting better and better..You have a good follow through so that the work flows from beginning to end. Keep it up, and we shall look forward to reading more!
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Anna Russell 08 May 2006
Lidia, Peter recomended your work to me and I'm glad he did. This is delightful, well done. Hugs Anna xxx
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Peter A. Crowther 08 May 2006
Congratulations on an excellent first poem. It tells the whole sad story so well, and you have a really good rhyming pattern. I will look forward to reading more of your poems, so keep writing :)
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Adryan Barnathan 08 May 2006
I can totally relate to this rights of passage here Lidia. Though these times are painful, the ever-transforming tides of hope exist within. A broken heart is an open heart. When we are willing to allow deep emotions to flow, there is invariably a gift of love at the other side. Sorrow brings the tidings of joy. This is the bittersweet aspect of love. A gorgeous poem...indeed..~!
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