A Vegetarian's Nightmare Poem by Sandra Martyres
A Vegetarian's Nightmare
Ram the ever affable Indian
And a very strict vegetarian
Courageously agreed to dine
With his overseas colleagues
At a popular Chinese Eatery
Situated in the heart of the city
He had no idea what to expect
To his complete and utter dismay
On entering the stylish restaurant
While strange flavours greeted him
His dining partners seemed at ease
They did not even notice him squirming
As they waited to be seated
Ram noticed a waiter approaching
A nearby table with a live wriggling crab
That fascinated the children who kept
Touching it against parental advice
Ram was clearly in the wrong place
His dining nightmare had just begun
His first reaction was to up and run
But given his over polite disposition
He shut his eyes and sat at the table
Pleading with all the Gods that
There would be no more live crab calls
Soon he was shaken out of his reverie
When asked to place his starter order
The Steward recommended shark fin soup
Ram, in an embarrassed voice mentioned
That he was a pure vegetarian and after
A lot of explanations the steward left
While the group waited to be served
Animated conversations followed
Chinese food being the topic for discussion
Ram tried to distance himself from the subject
Until someone described a monkey brain delicacy
With all the gory graphic presentation details
The speaker got carried away and continued
Speaking unendingly on this culinary rarity
He aired his views and those of his friends too
By which time Ram was absolutely appalled
He forgot about being polite and literally
Jumped off his seat and ran for his life
being a vegetarian i shudder to think of visiting china even in my dreams, nice poem 10 +++
Oh, what a nightmare! I didn´t know... repulsive... and ethical, I can´t find words... Sandra, take a look at my A Pastoral Painting, the same issue, somewhat nicer... (understatement, lol) A convincing (!) poem...
Hello Sandra..I am still laughing... great write... I have witnessed Chinese eating the brains of live monkeys.. I too ran Regards Alf
Everyone in modern trend knows about Chinese cuisine...Ram also knowing about that should not have entered into that restaurant...or atleast should have well enquired or asked his friends...I wonder why he didn't....I admire the humour therein....thanks for this nice piece
MALINEE Malinee’s father took her to China. There was a reception in their honour. A monkey was brought in and put on the table. It was alive. Its body filled its cage; the head stuck out of the top. Everyone watched. The monkey’s head was carefully shaved. The top of its skull was chopped off. Wine was poured into the exposed brain. It was still alive. The guests used their chopsticks to select pieces of brain. They put them in their mouths sucking out the taste of the wine. Eventually, the monkey died. Malinee was horrified. Then Malinees’s father took her to Singapore. There was a reception in their honour. A large bowl was brought in with giant prawns. They were alive. The chef poured alcohol onto the prawns. They jumped up and down drunkenly. Then he lit a match and the bowl filled with flame. The prawns died and were cooked in the same instant. Malinee was horrified. Malinee’s servant brings fish (and prawns) from the market. Malinee eats these. They are already dead. That makes all the difference. To whom? Brian
You are very good at this, Sandra.Very humorous, indeed.Poor Ram Lol..He should have told the one who invited him in the first place that he is a vegetarian..Anyway, that's a pleasing or should I say, very sad food experience..Ha ha.. Now, you bet me me here in my piece, BAD HAIR DAYS.. A pleasure and I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for making me laugh tonight..
very humourous and interesting story. As i am a vegetarian, i had an experience similar to this in a chinese restaurant having a sea food festival. Unlike Ram ran away from the entrance door itself. Normally i am tolerant. Mamta
Great poem Sandra with many laughs along it's fabulous story line. I have a friend who is a Vegetarian and is also allergic to garlic and as so many vegetarian dishes have garlic to give the vegetables more flavor she finds it really difficult to find anything to order. I can just imagine Ram's horror at what confronted him! 10 love Karin
You have conveyed a vegetarian's nightmare humorously through your poetry! 10! -Raj
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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12/5/2025 11:03:01 PM # 1.0.0
This light narrative kept me amused and smiling to the end. A very funny, well-written piece, Sandra!