Gangsters use it to commit murder and regret after
Never can you control your sense when you hold a bottle
Arouses in you, a spirit of a dramatic battle
Sober up to become a patriotic fighter
Sociability confirms your citizenship
Insecure is the life of the drunkard
Nobody cares when you lie on the open yard
Grounding shall after shame you and break your friendship
Beware, it had victimized Samson
Everywhere you go, it exposes you by the smell
Feeling dizzy can put you into a well
Run away from the consumer and the seller, son!
Appease your soul with prayer
Negligence brings much trouble
Cleverness only, can help you better gamble
Kneel down, pray, rescue and set a new fire
This sounds and looks more like a semi-religious essay than a poem to me. But I'll give it 3 stars, and HOPE some 'poem' readers also read my comments.
I don't have religious beliefs and I certainly don't look at 'drinking' is a 'sin', but there is no denying that it CAN and does cause some serious problems.
I think PoemHunter wants the poets to promote alcoholism. For, they have recently deactivated my poem "ENTER HIS KINGDOM" on the ills of alcoholism, which was published on ph some ten years ago. The poem was live on ph for 10 years. They have given me no option to defend it
For me, some poem parts are unclear re their meaning e.g. the references to 'gamble' and 'fire'. I wonder if drinking alcoholic beverages has caused, in general, more 'good' or more 'bad' in this world. It affects different people differently.
Hum, do you want me to tell the number of accidents caused by alcoholism, or the number of people who lost their job for being alcoholic? or would you prefer the number of people who commit suicide under the influence of alcohol? I don't wish it to my worst enemy.
Before writing this poem, I asked my relatives, my coworkers...to give me the pros and cons of alcoholism. They provided me with a bunch of cons. The only pros was: 'it helps you relax (ie lose control of yourself) '.
'Samson'? I found some unclear-to-me mention online of Samson and drinking 'wine' and 'unclean food', but I THOUGHT Samson's problem was losing his immense strength when his hair (on head I presume) was cut.
'Nobody cares when you lay on the open yard' Well, I'm sure many people 'care', but most would probably not want to be too closely involved. I think I'd call the police & hope they could be compassionate.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
line 7: 'lie' here, not 'lay' It is a very common error in grammar. Lie and Lay and their various forms ARE confusing! And so may be the spelling. : ( Why can't English be 'EASY'?
Yeah, you are right. Thank you Bri. I once asked English to be easy. But he or she prefers not to.