Alien Abduction Poem by Tom Billsborough

The Mortal remains upon the couch
While Buzzo and Fizzo are applying suction
To his mouth. His tongue
And undigested food fly out.
He didn't enjoy his alien abduction,
Test after test had been applied
As he lies paralysed with fear
At these odd creatures without mouth or ear.
Just two huge heads, pale green in colour,
And a circular eye the size of a saucer,
No body to speak of, just a circular counter
As they hovered above him
Shaking their heads as if in pity.
He's got the feel they weren't in raptures
About their recent human capture.
It's just as well he didn't hear
Their insolent conclusions.

"A rudimentary creature, full of holes,
Especially this one which emits loud noises,
Belches, and some form of basic language.
Certainly not the renowned sage
We expected from his alleged high status.
His tongue has no connection to his brain.
Let's send him back from whence he came,
That big white house in Washington."