Artificial Coma Poem by Sara Tehrani

Artificial Coma

Rating: 2.7


Title was given to me by a good friend of mine Pam.

The flowers we planted need to see the sun today
So unravel the sheets and wash the stains away
Off your sweet skin, step out of the lay
The flowers we planted need to see the sun today

The pretty birds you caged we need to let free
Before the pretty birds cage in you and me
To the place where light is lost no day
The pretty birds you caged we need to let free today

What is this artificial coma I see you have embedded?
When I can feel the springs of the mattress drilling into your lifeless bones
I hear your silent lip trembling as the voice shrills and moans
What is this artificial coma I see you have embedded?

Is it where your home is? Or are you a little lost?
Is it sweet and sunny there or just rain and frost?
I haven’t seen you for quite a while
All I want is to see you and to see you smile
I haven’t touched your skin
Will you ever break the artificial coma and let the world in?

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Hardik Vaidya 06 February 2013

I am awe struck by your reach. Mellifluous and melancholy. Soft and yet so hard hitting. Gentle yet biting sharp. Sunny yet bitterly cold. It is almost certain to me that you have seen, met her, talked to her, not just over a cup of coffee or a couple of beers but you have grown up with her. As a sibling, a neighbours kid, a best friend, an old pal, you have known life and this poem is a testimony to it.

0 1 Reply
Gajanan Mishra 06 February 2013

All I want to see you and see you smile. very good love. thanks.

0 1 Reply
Gajanan Mishra 06 February 2013

Sun and flower. Lover and beloved. True love. Thanks.

0 1 Reply
Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi 06 February 2013

knowing the plants that we planted need some sunlight, not to get fungus, knowing the caged birds of our countries will cage us without ambush, knowing the difficulty, we too moan and tremble in confusion, we are still in the artificial coma and we have to wake up and smile. Nice to read!

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Leslie Philibert 06 February 2014

Like this too, it is difficult to sustain original rhymes over four lines. It falls apart a bit in the last stanza.

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Pranab K Chakraborty 06 February 2015

The pretty birds you caged we need to let free Before the pretty birds cage in you and me..... The writing specially demonstrates the updated look to reflect into art. Poetry is no different. Beautiful coma artificial by title it may be, but the style of looking and interaction with life and object......quiet living. Thanks to the poet.

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Aftab Alam Khursheed 06 February 2015

nice images selected thanks

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Liliana ~el 06 February 2014

Wow, this is deep. Complex Sorrow, desperation Yearning and pleading Before the pretty birds cage in you and me... I haven’t seen you for quite a while... Will you ever break the artificial coma and let the world in? A relationship seemingly intensely close, yet, at the same time the individual feels so distant, like the companion has drifted and faded away, beneath cold, lifeless walls. The unknown trance is haunting.

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Stephen W 06 February 2014

Writing rhymes is not that tough, I can cook up all that stuff; The hard bit is to make sense as well Not lure the reader into a hell Of puzzling poetic blather.

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Daniel Y. 06 February 2014

I feel like the artificial coma is a symbol for the barrier between a person and them knowing you. Maybe romantic, but maybe just an honest desire for human contact. the springs drilling into his lifeless bones. Genius! I really liked this poem. Please read some of mine!

0 0 Reply
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