Xelam Kan

Before God`s Grace - Poem by Xelam Kan

After a mournful funeral
My soul was summoned before God`s throne
Bewildered, abject and all alone
uncertain of my sins to be atoned.

God unveiled in harsh rhymes
All my guiltless crimes.
So Mr. John
You claimed that sin is nothing but ignorance
Followed that old fellow of Renaissance*.

'What I revealed unto Mortal minds
Are desperate thoughts of Hearts' confined,
Those sacred letters to you were hoaxed
Just for 'gentles' to coax'.

You'r blamed from a Satan`s clan,
And was found rude upon my Holy men.
You have had an evil spirit, John
So was vexed, weird and wan.

I, John as humble as dust
Raised and phrased like thus:
'Almighty! I had never lost faith in you
Let me confess what was true;

You made me born free
But was enchained by heaven's decree,
I wished to say my heart
But my lips were sealed and soul apart.

You said my laws are unchanged
But thy blessed One made them estranged.
If those were not suited me so
Should not be taken them as low?

Those were not thy Holy words, My lord;
Revealed unto mortal souls,
But some evil in disguise sacked it whole.
Thus my anguish spake in my silly rhymes
And I was ranked with the old Faustus prime.

Ah! thy true love was taken as crime'
Mercifully gracious O my Lord
Unveil thy Mercy and grace sublime
Beyond every space and time'.

Poet's Notes about The Poem

just tried to measure the intensity of anguish and annoyance of those who suffered and suppressed.
three things that shape man`s mind, culture and religion i.e. First instinct,2nd is emotions and 3r. Is his intellect; theses three stimuli lead him to either catastrophe or bliss.
little bit twisted the Faustus' theme.

Comments about Before God`s Grace by Xelam Kan

  • Bri Edwards (5/16/2016 9:08:00 PM)

    My second Comment on this in 3 years.

    Having reread the poem, I wonder.......what was God's judgement of you? Personally, I bet you got in a lot of trouble! !

    :) bri
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  • Brian Johnston (5/24/2014 1:18:00 PM)

    I am bewildered that I like your poem as much as I do for I find many faults that I am still tempted to overlook. (I hope you are smiling!) I just discovered you this morning after reading your post on the Forums - Writing Poetry' blog where you posted your comment right after mine. Your comment there was so meticulous and your poem so lacking in this quality that I am amazed. I wonder what you think of my advice in the Forum and would welcome your perspective on my poetry as I would any 'Stranger in a Strange Land.' My great weakness is that I love diversity even as I long for brotherhood and unification.

    New to your work except for this poem, Castaway, and a Scared Fairly, I hesitate to speak loudly without more experience of you however. Bri Edwards seems to justify the early credit I do give you though with his depth of comment and has commented favorably on some of my work as well. Your English sir is clearly mysterious though it in someways adds to your charm. It certainly contributes to my bewilderment, though I am trying to get past that. What is your native language. What is your occupation and what country do you live in? Give us some more background if you would please.

    The opening stanzas though are not harmonious at all with my understanding of what this first meeting would be like. God's justice is foreign to you in your poem, dark, and not understandable. His countenance, His voice withering to your soul. Whatever kind of guilt this is, protestant or catholic, surely it is misguided. Being in the presence of your loving Heavenly Father is surely a joyous experience for all, even if your sin condemns you (and whose sin does not) . I am not sure that there is a Hell, but even if there is, even the 'Hell Bound' must be thrilled by His presence and the real possibility that His Grace covers their sins as well or else He is no God at all, but a 'fake demon' of our own imaginations.

    But agreeing with Bri 'harshly' is the wrong word here. Isn't 'guiltless crimes' indeed an oxymoron here where you admit the criminal nature of acts that you claim to feel no guilt for? Ha! But setting aside my contention that no one even tries to defend themselves in God's Presence (Because now you see His will, His Justice as clearly as God does Himself) , still your confession rings hollow.

    The last stanza though contains the hope and the prayer I myself pray for both you and all others (myself included) . To paraphrase, 'Even though my lack of empathy, my weakness of spirit, my self-centeredness, and my pride condemn me Lord, show me by Your Grace, your Mercy, and Your Divine Justice that You are God and that like the prodigal father, you do not disown me either! '

    Please visit my site Gulsher John. Your comments and friendship are eagerly anticipated.
    (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (7/13/2013 4:13:00 PM)

    God unveiled in harshly rhymes
    All my guiltless crimes.
    So Mr. John

    as for the above 3 lines: ....use harsh (no -ly) . i was going to write use all my guilty crimes or some other construction instead of all my guiltless crimes. when i first read guiltless i was thinking that someone who commits a crime is always guilty, but then i thought maybe you mean to express that you don't feel guilty of crimes that are attributed to you. or something else.
    i do like the poem enough to send it to my poemlist. and the poet to my poetlist (i think i already have included him in my FRIENDS) .
    in: ....Just for gentles to coax'.....do you mean to write gentILES, not gentLES?

    i pasted this:
    noun \'jen-?ti(-?) lDefinition of GENTILE
    often capitalized: a person of a non-Jewish nation or of non-Jewish faith; especially: a Christian as distinguished from a Jew
    : heathen, pagan
    often capitalized: a non-Mormon
    See gentile defined for English-language learners »
    See gentile defined for kids »

    thanks for the rhymes. and thanks especially for the lines:
    After a mournful funeral
    My soul was summoned before God`s throne
    Bewildered, abject and all alone
    uncertain of my sins to be atoned.

    [i can picture you in front of God, with perhaps your knees knocking together (nervous) or your fingers crossed behind your back (for luck) .] or were you confident and ready to debate or make a deal? ?

    though i had some trouble following your english at times (you know i do try G.j.) , i enjoyed this a lot AND I read the comments and enjoyed them quite a bit also. i wish i had the time to follow up on some of the comments with the poets; well, i COULD.

    i almost forgot! i REALLY liked your poet note, although i think plenty of people, including myself, find a life somewhere comfortably midway between CATASTROPHE and BLISS (not blEss, ha ha; that is an inside joke i have with G.j.) bri
    (Report) Reply

  • Ponniah Ganeshan (4/10/2013 11:45:00 PM)

    Of course, it is a poem thought provoking. I feel that life leads to death which in turn leads to birth and that nothing is everything. Am I correct (Report) Reply

  • Alufa Oke Joshua (11/27/2012 4:59:00 PM)

    if nothing is real in this wild world, i agree and i says yes! but this poem is real and touching in life unto death.
    good work man.
    (Report) Reply

  • Caroline Bulleck (11/17/2012 11:45:00 AM)

    It is an interesting theory that is enjoyable to read and is well written. This poem is full of meaning and gives the reader something to think about. I like it. I'll give it a rating of 9. (Report) Reply

  • (11/17/2012 4:07:00 AM)

    excellent! very intense writing. :) (Report) Reply

  • Babatunde Aremu (11/16/2012 1:58:00 PM)

    How can someone be enchained by heaven? I think our deeds acutually fetters us, heaven unbonds. I like the poem. It keep me probing (Report) Reply

  • Nabila ima (11/14/2012 12:15:00 AM)

    after I read it, I feel I'm dead and became scared about it. Anyway I like this poem and remind me what I have done in life. (Report) Reply

  • April Swan (my Diary Of Bitterweet Chocolate) (11/13/2012 11:47:00 AM)

    You made me born free
    But was enchained by heaven decree
    I wished to say my heart
    But my lips were sealed and soul apart'

    My favorite part, so deep with meaning, good job

    this poem left me speechless!
    (Report) Reply

  • Ramesh Rai (11/12/2012 5:42:00 AM)

    Your thoughts, confession, feelings all are excellent.. as if your have stated your all imagination with your open mind. great write. we are the little creature of God. ultimately, we have to seek refuge of his bosom. sometime i am astonished to think every thing is being done as per the will of god. (Report) Reply

  • (11/12/2012 4:05:00 AM)

    i like your poem it is beautiful (Report) Reply

  • Osama Waqar (11/11/2012 10:19:00 PM)

    (Report) Reply

  • Jahan Zeb (11/11/2012 7:02:00 AM)

    You have done and you know you will be Asked about them. then comes the lines that tell about God disclosed all of your guiltless crimes. The conversation goes on. You reveal your complaints to the Almighty.
    then come the real lines. the lines that I think contain the whole message.

    Thus my anguish spake in my silly rhymes
    I was ranked with old Faustus prime
    And thy true love was taken as crime'

    Especially the last line in the above. The poem as whole is a great one. Your prayer at the end show your attachment to God.
    I would say the whole poem shows your attachment with God Almighty. All the lines carry meaning more than the words used. You are truly a poet. You know the art of using the words and you know where to put an end to a thought. You have the art of using poetic words.
    (Report) Reply

  • Shahzia Batool (11/10/2012 10:30:00 AM)

    The Prayer in the last 3 lines is important really.
    Faustus' theme is not only renaissance period bound, it's universal! every soul faces the dilemma when the civil war gets waged within...
    (Report) Reply

  • Ray Hart (11/9/2012 5:31:00 PM)

    Tell where you get your beliefs from church, book, religion ect. It might help with comments. Regards, Ray.
    (Report) Reply

  • Unwritten Soul (11/9/2012 4:10:00 PM)

    A complexion of dark, sweet and deep mixture, swirl by words and ideas...it always great when you pull your hearts to mind and let the gaps filled with what you feel in between, the collision of feelings and sanity_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Unwritten Soul (11/9/2012 4:04:00 PM)

    A complexion of dark, sweet and deep mixture, swirl by words and ideas...it always great when you pull your hearts to mind and let the gaps filled with what you feel in between, the collision of feelings and sanity_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Saeed Jan (11/9/2012 2:16:00 PM)

    A daring poem... The way U described things is fabulous... I saw U standing before the Almighty and discussing ur matter... The theme of the poem is of greater value and only those who have strong nerves can give their pen a move on... U are somewhat supporting here the idea of searching the world for pleasure.... the question that often comes in one's mind is that V are gifted with a heart which always looks for beauty but on the other hand V are slaves to some norms and are not allowed to digress from.... It's very difficult for a free soul enslaved by some bounds... As U said,
    You made me born free
    But was enchained by heaven decree
    I wished to say my heart
    But my lips were sealed and soul apart'
    To me, good thing about this Poem is that U made a kind of complaint and remember complaints are always made about the near ones, we don't make complaints about strangers.... Nice write dear John! !
    (Report) Reply

  • Stevie Taite (11/9/2012 1:14:00 PM)

    It paints a great picture of your first meeting with God. I can tell you want us to know that youi have lived a full and happy life. You have enjoyed yourself. If God is going to be vexed at this, then take your telling off, and enjoy the after life. I dont believe in God in this sense. There are people that say they promote the word of God who are horrid people. Then there are those who follow Gods but are myserable as sin. I love your line 'my lips were sealed and soul apart. I imagine you looking down at your body and then looking back at God and wanting to say that there is not much you can do about the past now. I also get the hint of the idea that those on Earth who run the Church have maybe twisted the true interpretation a little too much....... Anyways, you will be around for many years to come Yoda! x (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, November 9, 2012

Poem Edited: Saturday, July 13, 2013

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