Young Heart


Betrayal - Poem by Young Heart

A knife to the heart
A stealer of souls
A broken oath till the day runs old
A hidden frown
And poisoned smile
That friendly trigger which shot me down
An endless night
With nowhere to hide
I am alone with my aimless cry

Topic(s) of this poem: sad

Form: Ballade


Comments about Betrayal by Young Heart

  • Emily Liang (9/10/2015 10:33:00 AM)


    Hello there! Kudos to you with an excellent diction and vivid memory. Your maturity of thought greatly surpasses your age and that puts me to shame. Continue writing and weaving legacies! :) (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • David Wood (9/8/2015 10:48:00 AM)


    I agree with Daniel. Nice use of words. (Report) Reply

  • Daniel Brick (9/7/2015 10:35:00 AM)


    Only at the very end do we get a complete sentence, and it's a bleak view of what has happened with no hope for improvement. But the phrases that make up most of the poem are a list explaining why and it's very convincing.
    Some of these phrases show a world without trust or truth: a poisoned smile, a friendly trigger, etc. but my favorite is STEALER OF SOULS. That shows how corrupt a world can become. But the very fact a poet has given voice to these thoughts is positive.
    (Report) Reply

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/7/2015 6:13:00 AM)


    please, note:
    http: //www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-translation-tradimento-a-poem-by-young-heart/
    .
    I'm collecting here a number of interesting poems found at PH's, as I'd like to go on with my publishing project - happily shared with my dear friend Daniel Brick - of a series of 'Anthologies of Poetry From The World '.. I heartily thank all those fellow poets who'll be so nice to let me know of new poets * worthy of attention.
    * especially if young poets.
    .
    You can look at these two EBOOKS to get an idea of the project:
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    - - ' Scattering Dreams & Tales' (Anthology of Poetry - by 13 Authors: Fabrizio Frosini, Daniel J. Brick, Leah Ayliffe, Lawrence Beck, Dilantha Gunawardana, Simone Inez Harriman, Diane Hine, Galina Italyanskaya, Mallika Menon, Maia Padua, Mihaela Pirjol, Abby Sze, Niken Kusuma Wardani) :
    ***** IT IS FREE FOR DOWNLOADING AT SMASHWORDS.com *****
    .
    - - ' We Are The Words - Siamo Parole' (Anthology of Poetry - BILINGUAL: ENGLISH-ITALIAN- poems by 13 Authors: Fabrizio Frosini, Daniel J. Brick, Leah Ayliffe, Lawrence Beck, Dilantha Gunawardana, Simone Inez Harriman, Diane Hine, Galina Italyanskaya, Mallika Menon, Maia Padua, Mihaela Pirjol, Abby Sze, Niken Kusuma Wardani - translated by F.Frosini) :
    ***** CHECK AT AMAZON.com *****
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    This poem of yours is eligible to enter the project, but, if you are so young as you write in your bio, first of all your parents need to give their approval.
    Cheers
    (Report) Reply

  • (9/4/2015 10:52:00 PM)


    thank you guys for ur support :) (Report) Reply

  • Kelly Kurt (9/4/2015 11:11:00 AM)


    I agree with Allotey. Keep writing (Report) Reply

  • (9/4/2015 7:26:00 AM)


    Beautifully written. Poetry is a good way to express one's feelings and thoughts. Good work. Stay blessed (Report) Reply

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/4/2015 6:59:00 AM)


    please, note:
    I've taken your gender as female, therefore I've translated:
    Sono sola con il mio grido senza scopo

    Should you be a man, it has to be:
    Sono solo [...]
    (Report) Reply

  • Fabrizio Frosini (9/4/2015 6:52:00 AM)


    MY TRANSLATION.. Do you mind..?

    Un coltello al cuore
    Un ladro di anime
    Un giuramento rotto prima che il giorno scemi
    Un nascosto aggrottare di ciglia
    Col sorriso avvelenato
    Ecco il grilletto amichevole che mi ha abbattuto
    Una notte senza fine
    Priva di luoghi dove nascondersi
    Sono sola con il mio grido senza scopo

    The text above is the Italian version of your poem..
    hope you'll be NOT disappointed..
    Ciao
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, September 4, 2015

Poem Edited: Friday, September 4, 2015


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