Between Them Poem by Daniel Brick
Between Them
Images near the center
of my brain now cluster
in a mental valley
in reflective togetherness
independent of my thought control.
'We no longer want to be part
of your brain activity, '
they tell my ambassadors.
'It's just electrical charges
and synapses, fiery emptiness,
activity to no good end...
We find our new identity
in the spheres of the Outer Mind:
its antiquity, its diaphanous unity,
its vast extensions. Of these things
you are willfully ignorant! We lived
long enough in your decaying labyrinth
of impulses and flashes of connection.
We seek the deep repose, the ample
spaces, the openings into a heightened
existence. Can you comprehend this? '
My ambassador images returned
and resumed their brain activities,
chastened and confused but faithful
to my thought control...How I am
torn between these faithful images
and these dissident ones. Who am I
to judge between them?
So the two spies came back from the outer world with glorious tales of milk and honey, confident that the Promised Land lay just beyond the edge pf footprints in the desert sands, and for their trouble the people rose up to stone them. Do not disturb the status quo. Do not allow your adventurous and inquisitive mind to wander beyond the walls of the garden. Rumor has it that there are serpents out there, and I believe it because a snake told me. Delightful jaunt through the inner passages of your mind, good Daniel. Thank you for tolerating our unexpected dropping in. :)
You amplified my poem with your own poetic thoughts/images running on a parallel track. I consider that the most important reaction to another's person's poem: it shows the poem is something alive that can further the life/thoughts of a reader. This is how we live a life in poetry! !
The workings of mind are so beautifully depicted here. There are always contradictory forces pulling us in opposite directions. The complexity of brain functioning is something not many of us would like to muse over but you pull it off with the greatest ease. Kudos. A huge 10.
Wonderful, Nosheen! For ths past several months, I have been measuring the value of my poems by your inspired reaction to them. And you are an inspiring reader of my poems and those of many others. I do not believe a poem is REALLY FINISHED until a sensitive reader takes it within herself or himself and values it.
'We no longer want to be part of your brain activity, ' ...this brought me a HEARTY laugh! sounds like something my wife said to me recently, and often. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - please! for once, could someone NOT write a poem which uses a word i need to look up? ? ! .....the Outer Mind: its antiquity, its diaphanous unity, .........'flimsy*** unity'? ? ? ha ha ;) di·aph·a·nous dīˈafənəs/ adjective adjective: diaphanous (especially of fabric) light, delicate, and translucent. a diaphanous dress of pale gold synonyms: sheer, fine, delicate, light, thin, insubstantial, floaty, flimsy***, filmy, silken, chiffony, gossamer, gossamer-thin, gauzy; translucent, transparent, see-through a diaphanous dress ................. ...................................[YES! I LIKE to see (or not) diaphanous dresses on divine debutantes! ] :) :) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Can you comprehend this? ' ...............Daniel, are you talkin' to ME? my best advice: go with the flow...............as long as the 'flow' does not land you in a heap of trouble! ! ! very nice! i wrote a poem recently, which this one reminds me of: My Wife Says My Time Is ‘ Near ‘ ….(Because You Are Getting God-Like Powers) …..[ She Did Say That! ; Mind-Travel; ‘word-Coincidences'; Long; Personal; True! ; Medium-Long] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - this poem goes to MyPoemList AND to Section A of the newly-opened December 2016 'a showcase for PH poets', in my list of PH poems. Thanks, Daniel. your 'ambassadors' are now excused for the day. bri :) p.s. Of these things you are willfully ignorant! ..........well, maybe NOT willful. hmmm? ALL of the lines are my favorites! ! !
Well, let's see - I'm always talking to you but are YOU listening! ! ! As for words to look up in s dict'y, I'm adding another one to the mix! !
Wondering about its meaning.Perhaps your inner convictions are about to change to new experience. Every day we gain some new experience.There may come a situation when our new experience may be diagonally opposite to our previous experience.It leads to inner turmoil. The last stanza shows that you get back your control on your thoughts. A thought provoking poem, thanks for sharing.
Your response, Bharati, is inspired - ABOUT TO CHANGE TO NEW EXPERIENCE. You are identifying what follows after the poet stops writing. You are showing that next moment which I may not even know about but you are pointing the way as you perceive it. And that is an amazing sharing of creativity.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 5:15:35 PM # 1.0.0.1119
My comment is rather simplistic/// but that's me..I Iike this poem because there a part of us that can't be controlled or dictated to by rational reasoning... the part I like to write poems about :)
I agree, Sister! Whatever reasoning may be, it is not poetic. In fact, I think it muscles in, ignores the poetry and starts pontificating. Poetry arises, embraces, invites, amuses + 1001 other things! Don't think of yourself as simplistic. Your simplicity means essence, directness, heart and soul.