The Abandoned Poem Poem by Daniel Brick
The Abandoned Poem
I wrote a long poem
for you this morning
in the pure light
of an untouched day.
The poem was marvelous!
It took two hours to write,
two hours to revise,
one hour to copy neatly.
As I read the final draft,
I felt I was in your presence:
your flesh as pure as the light,
your mind as untouched as the day.
The poem was one moment
a window through which I saw
your beauty. The next moment,
a mirror reflecting our joy.
Then a darkness that was not
nature's fell across my desk.
I dropped my pen, closed my
notebook. My mind, like a whirlgig.
This poem, these paper words
contained no trace of you:
the down of your face,
the curve of your legs,
your breathing lifting
your breasts, your lips
parted to speak, or parting
to kiss - Yes,
words are such perfect
traitors: they make promises
that warm you, like summer light,
they create spirals of hope.
For those hours of composing,
the words performed miracles
of desire, produced wonders
of expectation, and then -
I dumped the three sheets
in the yard as I trudged
to my daily tasks,
silent, sullen, sorry.
That evening, as twilight
slowly finished what
morning light had begun,
I saw you, sitting alone,
on your balcony, half-
hidden by a vase of flowers.
Your hands held my poem,
your eyes gazed intently.
I stood leaning against
a maple tree, watching
this impossible scene,
wondering what words were left.
No longer traitors, I
sifted through my mind
to find the words closest
to touch and to silence.
As I looked up in desire,
you suddenly looked
down in anticipation.
Words dissolved into gestures.
Valentine's Day
2014
Daniel, you have hit a home run with this poem. It is extremely well done, and congratulations on having it selected as poem of the day!
Love is a long poem. True. Love is an everlasting theme in life. The girl KATHY has become the long poem in your soul. A very beautiful poem with old memory of love. I am glad to read the name Robert Bly in your Note. I remember he is a great American poet who adores Tang poetry. Congrats to you Daniel for Poem of the Day - The Abandoned Poem! A wonderful poetic day.
Cigeng, that's a wonderful description: The girl KATHY has become the long poem in your soul. You made the right connection and drew the right conclusion.Thanks for insight and sensitivity.
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Almost one day which has gone into the making of this poem. I sincerely appreciate the lucidity of expression... great
Nicely written piece and your wording was great. I enjoyed this. love this so much, I love to write as well, have my own poetry so please check my site 2 :)
A beaitiful poem and imagery. I was hook from start to end. Thanks for sharing such brilliant work
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12/3/2024 6:14:42 PM # 1.0.0
I had read this poem first on 09.30.2015 and today is 03.17.2016.. That is like half a year almost between the two readings.. In September last year, I felt that this poem had what many great fiction have - the ability to show rather than tell.. Your poem shows us the love rather than speaking it in words.. But today, I feel something else too.. Your poem is about what happens between a poem being written and read.. You have gone for a love poem, and showed us how your poem had affected this woman Kathy - and Cigneg said it best that she is the LONG POEM IN YOUR SOUL. She is. This poem is more about the soul than the heart. It is about what all of us poets have gone through.. We all, I can almost say with certainty, at some points or other, have written a love poem for someone.. And then have looked at it, tried to 'fix' it, make it better.. O the pure pleasure in the agony of that process! ! Will she or will she not understand? ? One of my friends, wrote almost 30 plus poems for a woman, and she said that they were 'stupid'.. I myself, in the passion of my younger days, declared to have written a 'sonnet' (in free verse! !) and have heard 'no' from the one for whom it was written.. You, dear Daniel, I assume have not written a mere love poem, but had written a poem on 'love poems'.. What it means to the poet? ? A lot.. Sometimes more than anything and everything.. Thank you dear Daniel. Congratulations for being the poet of the day, my friend.. And it is really wonderful for me to realise that it has been more than half a year since I had been acquainted with you.. A toast to our friendship dear friend, teacher, and inspiration.. Thank you.
You are a Prince, Souren, You should rule over one of those ancient kingdoms that once dotted the sub-continent and your happy subjects would declare, Our Prince is River of Generosity flowing through our lives and leaving behind all good things - fruits, flowers, incense, , soma. And your harem women would chant - Oh my, I cant print what THEY would say! ! Thanks for your wonderful comment.