Professor Poetry Hound


Big Fat Phonies - Poem by Professor Poetry Hound

Did you know that the bible says it’s an abomination
to eat shellfish? Yesiree, it’s right there in black and
white. No doubt about it. And yet, look at all the self-
righteous bible-quoting bozos complaining about gay
marriage as they chow down on a plate of jumbo
shrimp. I guess they think it’s okay to select which
parts of the bible they personally think are important
and which parts they can conveniently ignore. Well, if
it’s okay to be selective like that, then I choose to
focus on the parts of the bible that deal with helping
the sick and the poor, and just ignore all that dopey
anti-gay crap. I’m pretty sure that’s what Jesus would
want. Not that he explicitly told me that. But then,
he’s kind of an indirect guy these days


Comments about Big Fat Phonies by Professor Poetry Hound

  • (5/15/2006 8:39:00 PM)


    I needn't comment - but I will. Why can't everyone study you as if you were St. Thomas Aquinas. A great read. Why, oh why are you not the Pope? But -I reflect - absolute power might do something to you. I'd rather read your poetic essays. Thanks for this. (Report) Reply

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  • (5/8/2006 9:54:00 AM)


    P.Hound

    been a while. good topic. and i agree with you. it seems religion today and for much of history exists to supply votes and rally troops. religion should never guide or influence political policy. not everybody is religious.

    i see so many of these contradictions that you speak of every day and it really does make me question the purpose and role of religion these days.

    peace
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/5/2006 6:27:00 AM)


    Oh, boy, you said a mouthful. Having grown up in 'the Bible Belt, ' I soon found out that when people wanted to end an argument and 'win it, ' all they had to do was start out: 'The Bible says....' As far as they were concerned the case was closed and that was literally The Last Word. And yes, a book that size, with so much contradictory information can be interpreted to accommodate just about anything you want to 'prove.' It seems to me that religion has much better uses than to win arguments and support prejudices. (Report) Reply

  • (5/5/2006 6:27:00 AM)


    Hypocrisy is the bible of religious phonies imo PH. A fine poem to counter indeed. Smiling at you with no shellfish between my teeth, Tai (Report) Reply

  • (5/5/2006 6:26:00 AM)


    The whole point of their being two covenants or testaments is that the first ione, which included the meticulous laws of kosher, didn't work.

    Jesus revolutionized Judaism by saying it was not so important what goe sinto a person (shrimp) as what comes out (lies, hatred, bigotry, hypocrisy) . This is why he was killed.

    I'm with you 100% on the anti-homosexual venom of today's Christians. Jesus very plainly lived and ate with the scrum of the earth - tax collectors, prostitutes, Samaritans, Roman soldiers, etc. Today, many people ignore this elemental sens of hospitality and love for others - especially those who are different.

    Why is it? I think the answer is in personality. St. Paul was great, passionatem and brilliant - but he was still a Pharisee by training, and the need to have rules, rules and more rules occasionally spills out of him. And I think that by objective standards he was what we would today call a right winger - it was his taste to be that way, and to insist that it all came from God.

    But it is very, very difficult for Christians, trained to revere people like Paul, to distinguish between the very wonderful things he wrote about love, about change, about human possibility - with the parochial things he sometimes wrote - about the role of women, slaves, drunkards and obeying leaders.

    Your point is right on - but it is marred by its own hatred and flippancy. The sense afoot is that there is a bay in this filthy bathwater, and that baby is the chance for us to honor one another, the way Jesus honored the tax collectors, etc. But instead the clever hurl feces at the pious, and the pious have the clever rounded up and tortured.

    What you are doing hee is brimming with hatred, which is what prevents it from having the authentic sound of honesty. Your desire is not really to spak wisdom but to say 'gotcha! ' to all the Jimmy Swaggart thinkalikes out in the high grass.

    In your own way you too are 'preaching to the choir' (of skeptics and freethinkers) not by grappling wiotht he complexities of a 5,000 page,100-author set of books, but by making bitter fun of them - wiithout doing the courtesy of reading anything but the undergradiate hypocrisy of banning shrimp!

    I am looking for a third path, and it IS in the bible - which many of us refer to (shellfish being one of 4,000 mini-laws making up the rule of kosher) but few of us grapple with.

    Having said all this, you are totally correct that, if we were to heed the words of Jesus anywhere, we could do a lot worse than starting with the 'Blesseds, ' which are revolutionary in the exreme, and violate not only cultural norms of that day and our day, but even our sense of human nature... 'Love those who would harm you' indeed!

    You're a great voice, Prof. Poetry Hound.I always enoy hearing you think aloud.
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/5/2006 6:11:00 AM)


    Perfectly Put Prof. I have to smile when they call gay people 'lepers', when you consider Jesus' track record with said afflicted. Whatever happened to judge not lest thee be judged? If my religion made me that mad all the time, I start looking for a better one. And I'd be very surprised if at least one of the people who had a hand in writing the Good Book wasn't gay.
    Sorry, rant over. Great work.
    Hugs
    Anna xxx
    (Report) Reply

  • (5/5/2006 6:04:00 AM)


    The recording was faulty. And hearers mishear anyway. What He said was, it's a crime to be selfish. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, May 5, 2006



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