Bird Puns Are A Hoot Poem by Spock the Vegan

Caution: this poem may contain Fowl language.

If bird puns fly over your head,
then you are simply a Dodo.

I'm in a Fowl mood.
A friend tried to impress me with bird puns,
but I realized that Toucan play that game!

Sunday my bathtub soap was stolen by a Robber Ducky.
At church I couldn't figure out why the Cardinal
had Birds of Prey sitting at the deacon's bench.
I reached for the song book and Grebe-d
the old Bustard beside me! That was Hawk-ward.

Monday I invested in bird seed. I was a Pigeon.
Now all my money has flown the coop.
Heron I'll stick to the Stork market.

Tuesday I went for Egg-cersize. I over did it.
It was not Pheasant. Then I needed Tweetment.
The chiro-Quacker Wren-ched my Rhea end.

Wednesday I went back to school. They expelled me.
I was caught Tweeting on a mid-Tern test.

Thursday I went to work. It's hard to soar with Eagles
when you work with Turkeys. I told Bobwhite I quit.

Friday night I dated a young Chick. She was Hen-some.
I took her to the Nightingale club. Dinner was served
by a Pelican. The Bill was enormous. I couldn't Swallow it.
I have an Openbill there now.

Last week I dated a Ruddy-Headed Goose. She didn't have
her Ducks in a row. They were all Tanagers. It turns out
that she dyes her hair. She's really a Grey-Headed Albatross.

Saturday was Game Hen night. The Orioles tiptoed over
the Sandpipers. The Peacocks were the biggest fans.
All the Crows got drunk at the Crowbar. I've told them
not to do that time and Ptarmigan.

So, If you are not Emu-sed, and you're still screeching about
this poem, Owl get Steven Seagull to kick your feathery butt.
I quack myself up.