Building Poem by Susan Lacovara
Building
Brick by brick
You laid it on thick
Till your stone walls
Cemented the door
The plaster within
Disguising your grin
As you whispered
You loved me no more
Scant pieces of me
Littered heaping debris
All remains of the rubble and rust
Are the nails hammered deep
In the tears I did weep
And dreams dying in smoldering dust
Planned blueprints replaced
By frown lines on my face
Vacant, where mortar once lay
In vanishing ink
What's left but to think
Foundation dissolved in the clay
Thin peeling the paint
Of the 'isn't' and 'ain't'
Construction for future on hold
No trespassing sign is all now to find
No further cement in the mold
I love your poetry. Wish I could do more than just micropoetry, but I don't have the patience! Well done!
Wow beautiful beautiful write... if this isn't a talent then what is? marvelous imagery it comes alive it was enjoyed by me keep writing keep writing :)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/19/2024 4:19:55 PM # 1.0.0.1119
You draw from your metaphor of an abandoned building project a painfully thorough experience of love lost. And the reason is given with devastating blandness in the opening stanza: : AS YOU WHISPERED / YOU LOVED ME NO MORE. The whole poem is a steady, relentless stoppage of building something - a relationship - and the detritus of feelings piles up all over the site. It's painful to witness but must be confronted. WHAT'S LEFT TO THINK / FOUNDATION DISSOLVED IN CLAY. It's a desolate end but it's also honest, a first step toward recovery. I don't feel this is a despairing poem. The very completeness of the collapse of their romance is a way forward. It's sounds strange to put it that way, but that's the paradox when one, only ONE, person falls out of love.